When a girl has her first period, it can be a confusing and possibly embarrassing time. While some girls embrace the change in their lives, others may take more time to adjust. And some moms may want to celebrate. One dad on Reddit stepped in when his wife chose to throw a period party for their tween daughter. The wife was excited to celebrate, but his daughter was embarrassed. But his wife didn’t want to respect their daughter’s autonomy, which caused a fight between the couple.
The dad was the first to support his daughter after she got her period.
In his post, he explained that his 12-year-old daughter came into his home office, “obviously upset.” Eventually, she told him that she had gotten her period for the first time. “I play the supportive dad, comfort her, and get her a box of sanitary pads my wife had bought earlier in the year,” he said. “I told her there was nothing to be embarrassed about and she could always come to me for anything.”
His wife immediately asked about throwing their daughter a ‘period party.‘
As soon as the suggestion was made, his daughter immediately shut down the idea. But his wife didn’t let the idea go. She spoke to him, asking him if he could try to convince the girl to change her mind. He told his wife, “she said she didn’t want one, don’t worry about it.”
Two days later, he noticed something was up.
“I walked into the living room to find that my wife had not only decorated it like something which wouldn’t have looked out of place on MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN. But there were several family friends (all women) and a few I recognize as neighborhood mothers,” he wrote.
This caused a big fight between the couple, which lasted for a week.
The man pulled his wife aside, and the couple got into an argument about the party. He reminded his wife that their daughter explicitly said she didn’t want the period party. But his wife pushed back. She believed regardless of the girl’s feelings, celebrating the moment was important. Eventually, she relented, telling the guests the party was over because her husband was being a “jacka–.”
“I lose it, follow her in, and let the women know, calmly but in no uncertain terms, that I appreciate what they wanted to do, but 12yo made it EXPLICITLY CLEAR that she DID NOT want this party and my wife is trying to pressure her into it,” he said.
“Everyone clears out shortly, and once the coast is clear, 12yo comes back downstairs. My wife gives her a half-assed (IMO) apology, again saying she didn’t think 12yo was serious, but 12yo ALSO ignores her and just starts doing her homework in her usual place at the table,” he continued.
People commended the dad for standing up for his daughter’s wishes.
“There’s a whole host of privacy issues involved with what OP’s wife did,” one commenter wrote. “Ignoring her kid’s request for privacy is a massive violation of trust, especially for a kid. It teaches her that she can’t entirely trust her mother to keep anything a secret. OP may have just prevented a whole lot of future problems by showing his kid that he’s a reliable person to talk to.”
“I think it’s incredibly creepy when mothers do this for a very inconvenient bodily function. It creeps me out that people say ‘she’s grown up’ and ‘become a woman’ bc what it really means is she can get pregnant. This is a strong case for bodily autonomy and not accepting that it is her daughter’s right what she discloses to the general public about her own body.”
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