Tantrums 101
Manage Your Stress Level
Getting a handle on your emotions is key in effectively managing your child’s tantrum and avoiding any negative behavioral reactions on your part, says psychologist Sanford J. Silverman, founder of the Center for Attention Deficit and Learning Disorders in Scottsdale, Ariz. He suggested stress management techniques. “These may include proper breathing during your child’s tantrums and taking a time-out if possible, allowing another caregiver to take over.”
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Empower Your Child
Outbursts often result from a youngster’s frustration over difficulty communicating or not being able to do what he imagines himself doing, Bhargava says. During a tantrum, try to alleviate your child's aggravation by giving him some control over the situation. She suggests encouraging your child to use his words and really listen to what he says, or allowing your child to make decisions by asking questions like, “Which one do you want to play with? This one or that one?”
Avoid Volume Competitions
When dealing with an unhappy child in the midst of a public tantrum, it’s easy to lose your cool and try to out-shout your 5-year-old, which can add more embarrassment to an already uncomfortable situation that has likely drawn the attention of others. Silverman says controlling your decibel levels goes a long way for everyone involved. “Keep in mind, talking to the child during a tantrum should be done in a firm, calm voice that does not match or try to exceed the child’s screaming or yelling.”
Thinking Ahead
Taking preventive measures before leaving the house might lessen the likelihood of a tantrum. Bhargava recommends making sure your child is not hungry or tired, along with keeping a stash of books, toys and snacks handy just in case. Sometimes, a change in a child’s daily routine can also bring on a tantrum, so explain any upcoming changes ahead of time so he is prepared.
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Monitoring Tantrums
Does your son tend to lose it after lunch? Are evening hours the time when your daughter usually throws some kind of fit? Being aware of when tantrums tend to occur could be vital in helping to prevent them. “For example, if a child becomes ornery and easily agitated after lunch, he may need to take a nap—or it could be he ate a food that contained caffeine or something acidic that is causing discomfort,” says Silverman.
Establish Limits
Setting limits can help shape behavior and curb potential tantrums, especially with toddlers. The extra awareness you display also satisfies their need for attention and direction. “An example is getting the child ready to end a play activity by informing him in time intervals that soon he will have to stop,” Silverman says.
