There is an old saying that, when it comes to people’s worth, “it’s what’s on the inside that counts.” While we can’t claim to know this for sure, we’re pretty darn confident that no member of the Kardashian family believes that saying to be true!
Kim recently raised eyebrows by admitting to The New York Times that she would “try anything” to maintain her youthful look. “If you told me that I literally had to eat poop every single day and I would look younger, I might. I just might,” she said. Yep, it’s safe to say that the Kardashians aren’t afraid to go to the extreme to keep themselves looking fresh and young.
The Kardashian-Jenner women (we’re going to leave Rob Kardashian out of this mess — hopefully he is lounging around in sweatpants somewhere, living his best life) are largely famous because of the way they look, so it isn’t super surprising that they are willing to spend a lot of time and money on their beauty routines. While we suspect that they’ve all done more plastic surgery than they admit to, we’re going to highlight the 15 wackiest, most painful, or just plain weirdly expensive beauty, spa, medical, and fitness treatments they’ve fessed up to over the years.
Read on for blood facials, vaginal steaming, and more. But thankfully, nothing that actually involves ingesting feces — yet.
The Vampire Facial
According to the Cleveland Clinic, a vampire facial starts when a medical team takes a small amount of your blood and spins it in a centrifuge to extract protein-rich plasma. The platelets are then extracted and concentrated into a sample, creating what is called platelet-rich plasma. That plasma is then spread back on the face, often after the face has been pierced with microneedles so it can absorb it back in. Kim posted a picture of herself following this kinda creepy looking treatment back in 2013.
LED Mask
Kourtney Kardashian — or maybe she’s going by Kourtney Barker now — swears by LED masks. Or at least she says she does so she can sell them on her website Poosh. The one she’s wearing in this picture goes for a cool $190, chump change in the Kardashian universe.
Morpheus8 Skin Tightening
Kim has raved that Morpheus8 skin tightening is “a game changer” but also noted that it is “painful,” which is an interesting endorsement for a treatment she was paid to promote. According to the doctor who performed the treatment, Kim got the “most powerfully accurate radio frequency-based skin tightening available today. We are now able to go deeper at multilevels and treat larger surface areas to tighten, lift, and smooth skin all over.”
Slush Facials
When it comes to things that we really, really didn’t think we were supposed to put on our face, dry ice has to be on that list. Well, unless you are a Kardashian-Jenner! Kendall and Kylie Jenner reportedly used to get “slush facials,” which are made of a combination of dry ice and acetone (yes, the stuff that takes off nail polish). That sounds painful!
Magnesium Bath Flakes
We love a relaxing bath, but we’re just not sure why we should shell out $35 for Kourtney’s favorite bath soak. Maybe that’s because we don’t actually know what “a blend of magnesium harvested from the ancient Zechstein seabed” really means.
So Many Steps!
In addition to Botox and injectables, momager Kris Jenner says she swears by her nightly beauty routine, which just happens to be her daughter Kim’s line, surely just a coincidence and not because Kris makes money when Kim does. The routine is nine (!!) steps and costs $575.
Panchakarma Cleanse
Kourtney and husband Travis Barker chronicled their experience with the panchakarma cleanse on an episode of The Kardashians, and it seemed like a lot. In addition to having to say no to sex, sugar, and caffeine (some of our favorite things, to be honest), this treatment includes vaginal steams, massages, masks, and footbaths.
Face Stamping
Trust Kourtney to have another wacky idea for skin treatment that, yes, of course she’s selling on her website. Kourtney uses a face stamper at least once a month and raves about it helping her look good with minimal makeup. According to Poosh: “Stamping is a form of microneedling that involves the use of fine needles to gently puncture the top layer of your skin, which tells your body it needs to heal those micro-wounds, so it sends in collagen. Essentially, these micro-injuries stimulate collagen and elastin production in the skin.” Ouch.
Major Gym Time
We love a good sweat session, but Kim’s workout schedule is really intense. She works out for up to 90 minutes a day, six days a week. She and Khloé even sometimes do two-a-day workouts because they are both obsessed with being the smallest versions of themselves. According to her trainer, Kim never cancels. “She’s the best client and athlete you can have,” Melissa Alcantara told Women’s Health.
DIY Masks
On the one hand, making a homemade face mask isn’t a totally crazy thing to do. On the other hand, making a homemade face mask every day seems super time-consuming, especially when it is only one step of a multistep process. Kendall told Vogue that her skin care routine starts with a mask that includes mashed-up avocado, oatmeal, superfood honey, and a droplet of organic lavender oil. She then follows it with some very spendy products, including a $449 collagen treatment and a $169 vitamin C serum.
Bleached Eyebrows
Both Kendall and Kim have experimented with the bleached eyebrow look — and we have to be honest, we don’t love it. First, it just seems risky to put dye of any kind that close to the eyeballs and second, it just looks kind of weird, especially on brunettes.
Bye Bye, Baby Hairs
When most people think about laser hair removal, they think of places like the bikini line or legs. But Kim turned that laser to her hairline and zapped off all of her baby hairs. To be fair to Kim, she did share in 2016 that this was a beauty treatment she regretted.
“I lasered my baby hairs off years ago because my forehead had all these little baby hairs, and I would always break out because of them. I also lasered my neck because I had such a hairy neck,” she wrote on her now-closed website (via Marie Claire). “Every photographer would Photoshop them out anyway, and I thought I looked better without the baby hairs, but now I miss them. I think they look youthful! So ladies, you can always laser your hairline, but I miss mine.”
37 Steps
Nobody has ever accused Kylie Jenner of being too into the natural look, and this video from Vogue certainly proves that. She shared that her feeling is “the more makeup, the better” and that her routine for when she doesn’t have much time is a whopping 37 steps. Holy cow!
Microneedling
Kim clearly isn’t afraid to suffer for her beauty (she tried the vampire facial after all). That includes getting microneedling procedures like the radio frequency couture. This procedure is supposed to result in tighter, plumper skin following microneedles piercing the skin and causing minor irritation. Fun!
Belly Button Tightening
Honestly, we didn’t even know that belly button tightening was a thing! Kim posted several Snapchats discussing her experience with the treatment, which she says “killed” and left her both loving and hating her plastic surgeon.
