I've been married 12 years. My husband is my partner, my favorite person to kiss, and one hell of a co-parent. He is not, despite what many sitcoms and dumb commercials imply, a bumbling buffoon who is my "third child."
The whole husbands-are-grown-man-children is a stereotype that drives me absolutely crazy. Not only does it put women in the unsexy role of being the fun police, but it is really insulting to those of us who chose to marry guys who are totally competent in the parenting realm.
I decided to reach out to other married women to find out what marriage stereotypes or clichés most drive them crazy. Misery loves company, so click on to find out which clichés are the most played out. It's okay if you feel a little jealous when you read #15.
I Want It
"I'm tired of all the dumb 'jokes' that revolve around the idea that husbands always want sex and that women are like these asexual beings that only want to put out on holidays and birthdays.
"I call bullsh*t on that. We've been married for six years and I still want it just as much as he does." — Karlie B., Des Moines, Iowa
Married a Grown-Up
"The whole 'he's my third child' thing is SO unfunny and tired. I married a grown-up. I chose to have children because he is a great co-parent. I'm not his mom, I'm not the solo adult in my house. I wouldn't marry someone who wasn't a capable adult." — Lori D., Salina, Kansas
How to Dad
"My mom was shocked that my husband didn't need lessons on how to be a dad. I went out of town for a week and she expected me to have to leave him meals and a sheet of instructions. So dumb. He knows how to be a dad. He takes care of them all the time. He isn't a babysitter!" — Sarah R., Seattle, Washington
More from CafeMom: 25 Moms Admit Their Biggest Parenting Regrets
He Has Opinions Too
"I actually brought a stereotype into our marriage. I always thought of the decorating of the home as being in the woman's domain. I assumed I'd just choose all the colors and decor I wanted and he wouldn't care. Um, WRONG. My husband has so many opinions about decorating, down to which place-mats to buy. It makes sense, it is his house too. I don't know why I thought he wouldn't care." — Jessa W., Lakeville, Minnesota
Drag Him Up the Aisle
"I HATE the cliché that men don't really want to get married and that women basically have to drag them up the aisle. There are even cake toppers that are all about that.
"My husband wanted to get married way more than I did!" — Brooke J., Scottsdale, Arizona
Still Fun
"Marriage is fun! We still have a great time together. So why do so many people act like marriage is this big buzzkill? I get to live with my favorite person! What's not to like about that?" — Valerie B., Salt Lake City, Utah
More from CafeMom: 8 Reasons Being Married Is Just Better
Let It Go
"My husband's idiot cousin made this whole drunken speech at our wedding about how I was hot now but once the honeymoon was over it was going to be 'sweatsuit city' and that I was basically going to become a dumpy house wife.
"It has been 10 years and I still want to look cute — but you know what? Even if I didn't, my husband would still love me. Marriage is about more than looks. But I still look cute." — Mary Anna D., Los Gatos, California
Friend Zone
"Can I just state for the record that I am happy for my husband to have time with his friends? He's in a weekly basketball league and does volleyball in the summer. He doesn't need to ask my permission to have friends or get a hall pass to leave the house." — Becky S., Saint Paul, Minnesota
Sexier Now
"I feel like there is a cliché that sex gets stagnant or super vanilla once you get married. For us, it has been the opposite. Our sex life is more adventurous now that we are older and more comfortable with each other. We didn't try anal until our fifth wedding anniversary, for example!" — Name withheld by request
Not My BFF
"I don't like the stereotype that your husband is supposed to be your best friend. My best friend is my best friend. I don't think it is healthy to rely on one person to meet all your emotional needs." — Maya W., Boise, Idaho
Adulting
"Marriage does not make you instantly an adult. The idea that being married is a sign you are more mature gets under my skin. We're still figuring things out after four years and one kid together. I don't feel like getting hitched was like the crowning achievement in my adulting career." — Abbie F., Farmington, Minnesota
Happy Dad
"Do people still think that wives want to have kids more than husbands do? If so, that would be the one that drives me the most crazy. My husband is so happy to be a dad! I took some convincing. He was all in from the get-go." — Kellie E., Tucson, Arizona
Give Me Space
"A really damaging idea is that if you are married, you want to be together all the time. I 100 percent need my alone time. I'm an introvert. Marriage is a lot sometimes. I would go nuts if I felt like I shouldn't get or want to have time by myself." — Gina S., Brooklyn Center, Minnesota
Life Is an Adventure
"Marriage is boring. Marriage is the end of travel and adventures. Marriage is stale. FALSE. We still have a life that values travel. We just have one more person with us in the camp tent. You can still have adventures." — Jenn R., Denver, Colorado
No Slobs Here
"The slobby husband thing is a total myth in our house. My husband does all the dishes and 95 percent of the laundry. All those commercials that show husbands acting like dirty slobs totally frustrates him. We both work to keep our house in order. The kids, on the other hand, are a different story." — Renee S., Clearwater, Florida
