Not only did One Tree Hill star Bethany Joy Lenz find herself in a cult, but she also managed to make her way out more than 10 years later. In a new interview, Bethany is opening up about the Evangelical cult she ended up joining in her early 20s — before she starred on the still-popular teen TV show — and what happened along the way that finally made her walk away for good.
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Bethany joined a bible study group when she first moved to Los Angeles.
In a new interview with People published on Tuesday, Bethany admitted that she “had always been looking for a place to belong,” so when she found a church group that felt like a family to her, she held on tight.
“We crave that kind of intimacy,” she told the magazine. “The idea that someone out there says, ‘No matter what you do or how badly you might behave or what dumb choices you make, I still love you, and I’m here for you.’”
When a visiting pastor named 'Les' arrived, everything changed.
Les made changes in the way the church group worked and even convinced some of its members to join him in a commune in Idaho he called the “Big House.” The group “morphed” more and more over time, and Bethany told People that even her One Tree Hill costars could see right through what was going on.
“I could see it on their faces. But I’d justify it, like, ‘I couldn’t possibly be in a cult. It’s just that I’ve got access to a relationship with God and people in a way that everybody else wants, but they don’t know how to get it,'” she said.
When Bethany realized she wanted out, she was deeply embedded in the cult.
At this point, she was married to a fellow cult member, and they’d had a child together, Bethany’s daughter, Rosie. If she left, though, it felt like “the stakes were so high.”
“They were my only friends. I was married into this group,” she said via People. “I had built my entire life around it. If I admitted that I was wrong … everything else would come crumbling down.”
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Once she figured out she was in a cult, she knew she needed to get out.
And now, she’s finally ready to tell her story.
“I don’t think of it as brave. I think of it as important,” she said. “Living silently in the suffering I experienced, I don’t know if that helps anyone.”
She hopes her memoir will empower others in similar situations: “I think of this more as the right thing to do.”
She's opening up about her experience in her new book.
Titled Dinner for Vampires Life on a Cult TV Show (While also in an Actual Cult!), Bethany’s new memoir will be on shelves on October 22.
“Being a writer has been a great, private joy in my life since I was about 12. This isn’t the first book I thought I’d write, publicly, but as difficult as this subject matter is to untangle, I’m grateful I get to share my story, my way,” she shared in an Instagram post when she first revealed her book earlier this year. “It’s a story of forgiveness and a roadmap to how manipulation works, with heartache and humor along the way.”