When it comes to polygamy, I'm not the poster child. Heck, I'm not even a member. But Joe Darger is. He was 20 when he married his first two wives, Vicki and Alina, who also happen to be cousins. His third wife, Vicki's twin sister, Valerie, joined the clan after her first plural marriage failed. They have a book out now, Love Times Three, detailing their relationship.
Of course, they're not the first family to attract attention for their polygamous lifestyle as any fan of the TLC hit show, Sister Wives, will tell you. Still, I can't even imagine what their lives must be like: It's difficult for me to balance a relationship with one partner — let alone THREE. Let's look at the pros and cons of polygamy, shall we?
Starting with the cons: I want to be the primary woman in my relationship, not one of three to rock his world. I don't want to share my guy with other women — let alone my sister and cousin. And while Joe says the ladies each get one date night every three weeks in their communal family situation, I wonder why he gets one date night each week.
Next is the matter of children. Do they rebel against the wives that aren't their mom? Do they say, "You're not the boss of me, you're just my aunt?" The kids aren't only half-siblings, they're first and second cousins. When they venture into the outside world, this can make for a confusing and confounding soap opera of sorts.
Lastly, I'm all for equality, but there's nothing equal about one man, three women. It seems outdated. Still, who am I to judge?
Of course, one pro of polygamy is the large built-in community. With 23 children and three wives, there's always someone around to cook, clean, babysit, hang out with, whatever. I think it's nice for children to grow up with lots of love and other children around.
Yet, while there seems to be lots of love to go around in this family, it's all too complicated for me.
Could you ever live the Sister Wives life?
Image via celebdu/Flickr
