Guess how half of unintended pregnancies happen in America? Derr, I mean, I guess we already know how ALL pregnancies happen. I mean, what's stopping couples from using the protection they need to avoid making babies when they have sex? Apparently a lot of perfectly fertile women believe they can't get pregnant — for a whole variety of self-deluded, wishful-thinking, totally clueless, and gullible reasons. Spoiler alert: We're usually wrong.
Half of our nation's unintended pregnancies happen to the 10 percent of us who aren't using protection. A survey of 50 women seeking abortions showed that women don't use birth control because they think they are at low risk for pregnancy. And okay, fine, that's a really small sample. But come on, how many of us have friends and family members who truly believed they were sperm-proof until proven otherwise? Hell, some of you may be sheepishly raising your hands as well. Here are a few ways magical thinking can get you knocked up.
Do you know someone who got pregnant when they thought they couldn't — or did you get pregnant that way?
Microwaved Eggs
All those years you spent growing up using a microwave oven have zapped your ovaries with radiation and now you're probably practically sterile. Plus all those times you did it in the kitchen…
Dirt Biking Accident
One 18-year-old claimed her boyfriend “told me he was sterile because when he was sponsored dirt biking and he had wrecked and apparently his wreck made him sterile in some way and they told him that he would get it back between 22 and 25.” Yeah… no.
Didn't Take All the Pills
I mean, it's not like you have to take all of them, or take them every single day. Like, you can sort of make up for skipped days, or whatever.
We Have a Method
It's called the rhythm method, see? And when I'm fertile, like when I'm feeling hot or something, he pulls out. We're super careful. Except that one time…
We're Too Young
It's actually really hard for teenagers to get pregnant! Because, like, our bodies aren't as developed? So, I guess all those other teen moms were just extra mature.
We're Too Old
Come on, I'm probably all out of eggs by now! Sure I still get my period. But I was super hot for no reason at all yesterday. I'm probably pre-menopausal, or whatever it's called. And he's not so young himself…
I'm Anemic
I have extremely low iron in my blood so that makes me almost, practically infertile. Um, right?
That One Infection I Had
I got a yeastie/UTI/endometriosis/measles that one time so I probably can't have babies.
