I'm not a totally kinky person. That isn't to say that I'm not in touch with my sexuality. I totally am. But for me that isn't something I walk about the streets discussing. I may be a freak between the sheets, but friends, I am lady when I'm on the street. Let's be real — I'm a lady pretty much everywhere I go and freak never.
That's why I was so hesitant when it came to the idea of sex toys you could wear around town. Is there a market for this? That's right, companies like the stellar Crave, have started making 'wearables', these incognito sexy-time toys for grown-ups that you can, in theory, wear to a board-meeting without anyone being any the wiser. I wasn't sure they were for me, but their sleek design? Well it basically looked like all the non-sex-toy jewelry I already own.
More from The Stir: 10 Discreet Sex Toys They'll Never Suspect (PHOTOS)
So I decided to go for it! Worst case scenario, I was called out at work for public perversion, which frankly, would be kind of exciting. I tried out Crave's Droplet Necklace, which is a long, lariet-style silver piece with two silver oblong pendants at either end of the chain. With a quick twist those stylish pendants? They turn into nipple vibrators. Silent but deadly nipple vibrators.
To compliment my look (because you must accessorize properly or die, in my humble estimation) I also donned their leather cuffs. These gorgeous black leather handcuffs can be worn as a stack-able, totally punk rock looking bracelet. I was way into it.
I decided to wear these pieces around the office and see if I could pull of being kinky at the office. The answer? A resounding yes. I made copies, I chatted with co-workers, and did my actual job — all stylishly and sexily. Even if you aren't into such displays, these pieces are worth checking out as jewelry alone! Check out the different places I wore these sex toys at the office!
Would you ever wear a secret sex toy in public?
While Lecturing a Colleague About Gardening
"Look, trust me, I know a lot about basil and also I'm wearing leather handcuffs as a bracelet."
During a Spirited Game of Connect Four
"Quiet, I need to focus on this game and not the fact that I'm wearing two dangling nipple vibrators in public."
While Making Copies
"Sure, making copies might be mundane, but I'm letting my freak flag fly WHILE I collate!"
On The Toilet
"What happens on the can, stays on the can."
While Writing an Excellent Blog Post
"I find the kinky tingles really improve my syntax."
