It's hard to believe something so right can go so wrong, but you can seriously injure yourself having sex. Maybe you've already discovered this for yourself? Board-certified spinal and orthopedic surgeon Dr. Kenneth Hansraj says he's seen back pain, neck pain, strains, herniated disks, and neck injuries all as a result of lovemaking. And that's just the beginning! Here are 8 of the most dangerous ways to have sex.
We're all for improvising in the bedroom! However, to prevent injury, Dr. Hansraj has this simple tip: Warm up for it — literally. "Take a long hot shower and stretch," he suggests. "See if you can do those positions there because that's where you're most flexible. Make sure you can obtain and maintain those positions." Then try them out for real.
Dr. Hansraj reminds us that our first priority is physical health (including a strong, limber back) — "and then, great sex is the icing on the cake," he says. He recommends doing yoga exercises, even just upward facing dog and downward facing dog, for core strength and flexibility.
Have you ever hurt yourself having sex?
Image via luminaimages/Shutterstock
Banging on the Headboard
You've seen it in the movies: Sex so passionate it bangs the woman's head against the headboard. But Dr. Hansraj has actually seen head injuries as a result of this enthusiasm. Take a moment to scooch down so your head has plenty of space to maneuver.
Unstable Sex
Are you teetering on the edge of something? About to fall down? Bearing your weight more on one side than the other? "If you're not stable you're more likely to be injured," says Hansraj. Be careful, you wildcats, you!
If that sounds fun, here are some other inadvisable positions we've learned about.
Woman on Top
The most dangerous sex position for a man's penis is the "woman on top" — this according to a Brazilian study. After reviewing 44 cases of injuries they concluded that what we call the the cowgirl is "potentially the riskiest sex position" because it caused the most penis fractures.
Kitchen Quickie
The kids are all away, and he plunks you on the kitchen counter for a quickie. HOT! But beware. If he's going at it in a vigorous fashion and misses, he can end up hitting the counter or your pubic bone, resulting in a penis fracture, warns Men's Health.
The Body Builder
DatingAdvice.com calls it the Body Builder. Men's Health calls it the Pogo Stick. It's when you straddle him with his legs while he stands, supporting you with his hands or arms. Okay, not many of us can pull this one off, though you can make it easier by leaning against a wall. But a lot can go wrong with this position if he drops you (ouch) or you slip awkardly all of a sudden while he's still inside of you (ouch).
The Triple Lindy
Okay … I'm not even sure The Triple Lindy is possible for people who are not in the Cirque du. Soleil company. He stands and lifts you up, facing away from him, and enters you from behind. You can wrap your legs around him from behind you. Because that's what feels most natural, you know? (Hahaha) You can brace yourself on his arms for support, not that that would help. Drop your girl and you're both in for a world of pain.
The London Bridge
He bends over backwards as shown here. You straddle him over the top and go to town. What could possibly go wrong? Only for the strongest yogis, and even then it looks like a broken back waiting to happen. As the Daily Loaf puts it, "like the nursery rhyme, your London Bridge will always fall down."
The Pair of Tongs
Imagine you start off from this position. Your man picks you up by your legs and holds you sideways, so your bottom leg is between his legs and you're balancing on one hand. Basically it's like playing Twister in mid-air.
Which means the Pair of Tongs is the perfect position for anyone who wants to kill any bit of spontenaeity and fun in their sex lives.
The Butter Churner
For this position, you lie on your back with your feet up in their air, like this modified "plow" yoga position, while he squats over you to enter you. "Be extra careful to thrust lightly to avoid stressing her neck," says Men's Health, making us suspect they've never actually tried this position out themselves.
Missionary Position
Since when is this most vanilla of sex positions dangerous? Ordinarily it's fine, but not if you have back problems. "The missionary position is the most difficult with back pain, and, should probably be avoided," Hansraj advises in his book, Keys to an Amazing Life: Secrets of the Cervical Spine. "Props such as a lumbar support or a pillow under the back could help." He also suggests people with back problems avoid any positions that twist the spine.