I met my husband on a Friday night. As we were saying goodnight, I mentioned that I was leaving so I could get to the gym by 7 a.m. the next day. Now, here's the thing — I've never voluntarily gone to the gym early on a Saturday morning. But I liked this cute guy and wanted to seem like someone who woke up early to work out. So, yes, in the time-honored tradition of people dating, I told a little white lie to seem a bit more appealing.
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Thankfully, my husband and I met in person, so at least I didn't have to put my fib in writing. That isn't the case for the 13 women who were willing to spill the beans on the lies, big and small, they've told while online dating. I have to admit, I'm fascinated by some of these stories, and how people choose to present themselves online.
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Seriously, it's pretty interesting to think about the silly things we lie about while dating. Some things are so small that they might seem not to matter, but to us maybe they do. What is the difference between putting one's best self forward and telling a white lie?
Read on for the surprising truth about the lies we tell — and why.
Image via iStock.com/SanneBerg
Best Face Forward
"My pictures are kind of a lie, I guess. I had my hair and makeup professionally done and then I made generous use of filters. My pictures are kind of the very best version of what I'd normally look like." — Cara V., Saint Paul, Minnesota
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Curves Ahead
"I'm a size 14 and I hate having to choose a category for my body shape. I'm curvy, but the I think 'curvy' means fat in online dating lingo. I usually choose 'athletic' and post pics from my best possible angle.
Is that lying? I don't know. I just don't want to be filtered out." — Jessie H., Santa Fe, New Mexico
Gold Diggers Need Not Apply
"I'm a lawyer and I make good money but I don't include my profession on my dating profile. When I did eHarmony, it asked for my income level and I selected one that is about $50,000 less than I actually make.
I'm not interested in attracting guys looking for a sugar mama!" — Rochelle L., Minneapolis, Minnesota
Love Lost
"I don't select the option for 'widow' on the dating sites. I think that kind of scares some guys a way. I was widowed at 27, and it is depressing.
I just put single and if I get serious about someone, I'll come clean eventually." — Patricia D., Portland, Maine
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First Timer
"I've been online dating for years but I always say that I'm new to it or that I just joined the site. I think guys like feeling like you are more innocent or something." — Nicole M., Saint Paul, Minnesota
10% Rule
"I acutally have kind of rule for myself — everything on my profile has to be within 10 percent of the truth. So, like, my weight, income, height, number of past partners, etc. All are pretty close to true … but maybe not exactly." — Annie W., Tucson, Arizona
Never Been in Love
"I've never been in love. Or had a serious boyfriend. Or even dated, really. I'm 23 and I have a 6-year-old that was conceived when I was sexually assaulted as a teenager.
It has taken me a long time to be at the point where I think I'm ready to be intimate with someone but I think my backstory is A LOT for someone to know about, so in my profile, I just let people assume I'm normal and that I've had a handful of past relationships. If I told the truth — well, who would click on that?" — Name withheld by request
Hookup Wanted
"I'm super busy right now and I'm actually not looking for a serious relationship. I'm happy just to have some fun hookups.
But when I put that I was open to that on my profile, I got flooded with gross guys and nonstop dick pics.
I've changed my profile to say 'looking for a relationship' and I still get to have hookups, just with nicer guys who don't act like I'm a slut because I wan to have sex." — Name withheld by request
Smoke and Mirrors
"I'm a social smoker and I classify myself as a non-smoker online because I know that is a deal breaker for a lot of guys. Since I only smoke a few times a week or month, I'd put that in the white lie category." — Katie P., Houston, Texas
Profile Pic Lie
"My profile picture is a lie! I'm a high school teacher, so my goal is to make sure none of my students ever find my profile. I tried having a profile without a picture, but I didn't get many hits.
So I found a picture of someone who is approximately what I look like (same hair color, age, and eye color) and use that instead. If I feel like I'm make a real connection with someone then I fess up and send them my real pictures." — Melody S., Los Angeles, California
Nothing but a Number
"I'm 40 but I keep saying I'm 36 or 37 online. Forty just feels like a line in the sand for a lot of guys and I don't want to get cut out of their searches just because I started a new decade.
And I look young for my age, so I don't think it is a biggie." — Denise G., Des Moines, Iowa
Bi Lie
"I'm bisexual, but I NEVER put that in my profile. I know from experience that calling yourself bi means getting flooded with messages from people wanting threesomes. I'm not looking for that right now." — Wren D., Ames, Iowa
Funny Friend
"My best friend wrote my whole profile for me — which is kind of a lie because she is much funnier and a better writer than me. I get lots of messages from guys who love her Simpsons references, weirdly enough." — Georgia T., Wheaton, Illinois
