According to ongoing research from the University of Chicago, most American adults say that they believe that cheating is always wrong. Despite that finding, nearly 20 percent of married adults report having had an extramarital relationship, with people who've been married longer seeming more likely to report that they've had an affair. Although there is evidence that men still cheat more than women, researchers have found that the number of women who've cheated has been steadily rising over the last two decades. This is hard to imagine, considering women are so often trying to stand with their sisters in solidarity when egregious affairs plague their lives. So when one hears about a woman cheating, one can't help but wonder what led her to this point.
I'm curious about the fact that it seems like more women than ever are being unfaithful, so I decided to go the source. I talked to 11 women who've cheated and asked one basic question: Why?
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After I promised not to reveal their names or locations, they revealed some surprising and sometimes sad reasons why they just couldn't stay faithful. And the reasons are shocking, emotional, and sometimes even logical.
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It can be easy to judge people who cheat, but after reading these real life stories, these women may actually be more relatable than one would think.
Here, real women confess the reasons why they cheated on their husbands.
Irresistible
"I had a brief but intense affair with a coworker. I just had an irresistible sexual attraction to him. At that point my husband and I hadn't had sex in about six months. It was an itch I just had to scratch."
Connected
"I feel like this is so cliché, but it was basically about attention for me. It was about feeling connected to someone who didn't see me as a mom or roommate. It was just fun to be getting flirty texts and to have a reason look forward to checking my emails. I shouldn't admit that it was fun but it was."
Already Broken
"I cheated because he cheated first. I think our marriage was already terminally broken. I reconnected with my high school sweetheart online and as we started getting closer, it made me see that my marriage was really over."
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Too Much Time Alone
"I'm not proud of it, but I had a relationship that was too close with a stay-at-home dad I met at the park. At the time, my husband was traveling two weeks a month for work and I was just lonely. It didn't last long but the guilt lasted a long time."
Liquid Courage
"I got sloppy drunk. Liquid courage led to me flirting with and then hooking up with one of the guys in my husband's fantasy football league. It was super messy behavior and it led me to see that my drinking was out of control. I'm sober now. And single."
Friends or More?
"J. was my running partner first. Then we became friends and then it just became something more. I loved my husband but the pull toward J. was too strong to ignore. I didn't know I was gay until I admitted that I was in love with her. We've been married three years now."
Sign of the End
"My now ex-husband and I were a toxic combo. We fought all the time. I cheated because my marriage sucked. It wasn't that deep."
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Emotional Connection
"I've never had a physical affair but I've had some emotional connections that went beyond friendship. Being a mom has been hard on me, I think. The day-in-and-out of dealing with kids 24/7 left me drained. Those relationships made me feel like me again."
Symptom
"My affair was one of the things that led me to finding out that I'm bipolar. It happened during a manic phase and the fallout was one of the reasons I finally ended up getting counseling."
More Than Mom
"My affair was short. My husband still doesn't know and I don't think I'll ever tell him. I just needed someone to see me as more than a mom."
Travel Clause
"I've cheated several times. All one-night things, all while traveling for work. I don't think people are meant to be monogamous. I feel like as long as my husband doesn't find out and I practice safe sex, then I'm not hurting anyone. Having that spark of something new keeps [me] on my toes in a way that makes me a better wife."
