Buying a Valentine's Day gift for an intimate partner is difficult. What could possibly honor all the time, love, rescuing, intimacy, laughter, personal growth, and irritation of this relationship? Flowers are nice but have become so weakened by reflex gifting. Chocolate? Same. Jewelry is terrific, unless your recipient doesn't wear the stuff.
How about something that says what you really mean? Because what's really important between you two? The nice dinners? That walk in the park? That you agree about living room furnishings and pets?
Nope. This is Valentine's Day! What matters is the love and sex (and that they are hopelessly comingled). We have it! The perfect gifts that say thanks for this!
Thanks for the orgasms ... oh, and here's a beer.
This romantic partner is male, right? So he will love being so frankly thanked about all the effort and skill he puts in. Also? This "Thanks for All the Orgasms" message key chain ($14.99) will open his beer. What's not to like about this? How does he not have this already?
Put that message on a card.
Already got the gift covered? Put a card on that gift that gets this message across: This is important to you, and you appreciate it!
Everyone likes to be appreciated for things they went to some effort to learn how to do, right? Right. He's no exception here.
Add this sexy card ($4) to his gift and make him laugh — and feel appreciated — all at once.
Maybe don't drink the coffee in front of the kids, though?
This is an important part of your relationship. And you do say thank you, in a way — if not always with words. But sometimes it's a good idea to come right out and say that not only do you love his personality and all he does for you and the fam, but you also objectify him in the best possible way.
Just maybe, if the kids are able to read, you want to save this coffee mug ($16.11) for after bedtime. Because, in the words of every grade-schooler who ever had parents, "Eww! Get a room!"
How to get over his objection to candles
You want to burn candles. They are romantic and smell nice. He thinks they are too expensive, are a fire hazard, smell too much, or whatever.
He won't object to this "Thanks for the Orgasms" soy candle, though. He will want that one lit 24/7.
It's a thanks, and it's a problem solver. A bargain at $25.99.
Psst: If you choose to purchase an item from this post, CafeMom may receive a small cut. Each item and price is up to date at the time of publication; however, an item may be sold out or the price may be different at a later date.
