Ah, sheltering at home. Lots of time to hunker down and get in some quality time with loved ones while keeping safe. Maybe clean out the pantry, do a puzzle (or five), and finally catch up on The Sopranos. OK, not really. It's more like a not-so thrilling test to see how strong a marriage is, while trying to avoid watching too much of the news, being afraid of the germs on the packages from Amazon, and wondering how on earth to teach fractions to a gaggle of squirming kids — or maybe that's just us. If it wasn't bad enough that the current world situation has us all on edge, spending all day and all night with our spouses can be a lot (too much, really) and we think it's safe to say that many marriages are getting stretched to their limits. There is such thing as too much quality time inside, we'd argue.
Apparently, we aren't the only ones who felt a little stifled by all this togetherness. In fact, many agitated husbands and wives were vocal that being home 24/7 with their spouse was driving them absolutely insane — and were unafraid to spill the tea on Twitter. From the newlywed couples who are getting a bitter taste of marriage way too rapidly, trying not to annoy each other while on a Zoom call, and to the husbands who can't seem to keep their gas to themselves, these tweets show that hilarious reality that sometimes marriage isn't bliss.
It's All Fun & Games
This tweet is proof-positive that there is no one way to load the dishwasher, fold a fitted sheet, make the morning coffee, or feed the dog — that is until our husbands refuse to do it our way, in which case, there absolutely is.
Times Are Ruff
Remember those first sweet, honeymoon years of marriage? Yeah, us neither. But let's not ruin it for those bright-eyed newlyweds who are probably skating by this quarantine wrapped up in their love — or so we hope.
It's the Tooth
Sure, we haven't been outside for weeks, but we don't miss socializing. We hardly even think about it. It's just a coincidence that our husbands like it when we use our tooth bleaching kit and can't chat for an hour — right?
It's a ... Bird
This woman, might be — just might be — going a little corona-crazy or maybe it's really sweet that she made these birds their own tiny baby shower for their eggs. We can't really tell anymore.
Snack Attack
We're embracing our snacking this quarantine — and no husband blasting his deltoids in the garage is going to change our minds. So please, pass us the extra-tangy veggie chips and keep it quiet.
Face the Facts
We're more than just a tad bored. We admit it. And just like this poor man's wife, we're taking it out on our husbands by reading them random, boring facts while trying to pass the time. Who needs Netflix?
Meet My Wives
A work wife is the person who is the No. 1 go-to when things get crazy at the office. A wife-wife is the person who is the No. 1 go-to when things get crazy at home — actually, we see no problems here.
Mails In
The only thing that gets our hearts fluttering is the grocery delivery person — and that's because they are the bringer of the snacks. Hopefully, this husband's joke is all in good fun (but in all seriousness, please bring us some snacks).
Morning Person
Define "quiet" — this woman obviously can't. Her poor husband has to deal with smoothie blending, dish washing AND show tunes before 10 a.m.? Give this man a medal … and then take it away because we do all of those things too.
Let's Circle Back
Zoom has made meetings come to our living rooms — but that also equals noticing our partners strange work habits like their work "lingo." Circle back, loop someone in, follow up? Who is this person?
The To-Do List
Hmm, we like an organized man, but this list? We don't like it so much. What's that thing after clean window again? Maybe we'll save "Fart on wife" for tomorrow… or the next day… Or the next day…
May He Rest In Peace
We were not ready for the uptick in gas during this quarantine. According to our findings, farts are up about 98% since March and have little to no signs of slowing in the near future and there's a 100% chance that wives everywhere are getting fed up with it.
Call HR
The TV is broken, the computer is broken, we can't get Disney+ to work, we can't connect our phones to the WiFi and oh, yeah can he get it all done before video homeschooling is over for the day? Thanks.
Knock That Off
Has anyone ever just *ughhed* at their partner? Like we love them, but sometimes we look at them and … ughhh. That's the feeling of this tweet. In fact, this tweet is a whole dang mood.
Yeti Spotted
Our husbands in their natural habitat — full underwear, no shirt, grabbing some quick deli meats from the fridge. As they scamper back to their laptops, even the most stealthy Yeti — we mean husband — is at risk for getting caught in the wild.
The Limit Does Not Exist
We aren't picky, we just know that the toilet paper roll faces down, the clean sheets are stacked from smallest to biggest, and our husbands have no idea where any bottle of ketchup, mayonnaise, or mustard is at any time.
The Iron Throne
Imagine it. We're sitting on the throne doing our *ahem* thing, when our husbands, our kids, and heck, sometimes the dog barges in for a little one-on-one. Yeah that's not gotten any better in quarantine.
Privacy Please
There are so many things we miss about the outside world, the park, the beach… TJ Maxx. And honestly, we get this woman's sentiment *completely.* Oh to be arguing about bedroom furniture at IKEA. We miss it.
