Parents Unknowingly Broadcast Their Quickie After Kids Leave Baby Monitor on Under the Bed

iStock

Now that we're all staying indoors all the time, it makes things a little trickier when it comes to intimacy. More than ever, parents have to make it happen whenever they can. A woman on Reddit thought she and her husband had found the perfect time to have a quickie, but thanks to the family baby monitor, their kids saw everything. "My kids put the baby monitor in our bedroom," she explained on Reddit. "We had no idea."

Typically, the mom is able to keep an eye on her kids while she works from home.

Reddit

But as they tend to do, her 4- and 6-year-old somehow got into some major mischief and snatched the baby monitor while she wasn't looking. As she explained on Today I F—ed Up, her kid wanted to "watch the cat sleeping" under the bed in her bedroom.

"By some grace of god, the cat decided to sleep under the bed and not on it," she wrote.

That should have been the end of things.

Except that it really, really wasn't.

"Fast forward. I walk in the bedroom to blow dry my hair, and my significant other was getting ready to take a shower," she wrote. "One thing lead to another… We make sure the door is locked, make sure to keep the noise relatively down."

The whole time, the mom believed her kids were safe and sound at the dining room table.

And they were — listening to the receiving end of baby monitor with rapt attention.

"As he jumped in the shower, I heard the door handle to bedroom jiggle," she recalled. "I said I was getting changed. My 6-year-old said, 'We can hear you. Why are you saying 'uhh uh uhhhh uh'? We could hear it A LOT.'"

Oh dear. Now, WE'RE blushing.

She later explained that although it was a video monitor, "it was placed under the bed, so nothing was seen," she wrote. Thank God. 

"My son has nocturnal seizures — hence why a video monitor is needed at that age," she explained.

So, the mom thought quickly and came up with the only reasonable explanation: Mom and Dad were doing, um, yoga?

She told her 6-year-old son that sometimes when her husband stretches her too hard it hurts "and I sometimes grunt," she added.

But then it got worse -- her son asked if they could do yoga too.

That's how the mom ended up in her second compromising position of the day.

"Commence me, sitting with my two kids, making moaning noises while I do downward dog to make it seem normal," she wrote. "They are going to be so screwed when they go to their first yoga class, and they sound straight out of an amateur porn tape."

But at least their cobra pose will be on point?

The good news is that her kids are learning something during the pandemic.

Embedded content: https://media.giphy.com/media/Q8rwlNTcDAU3MuUzd7/giphy.gif

"You know when school starts again, the 6-year-old will definitely be sharing what he learned with the entire class," one commenter warned.

"They do yoga in elementary school PE nowadays," another commenter wrote. "Great for rainy days!" the person joked. 

A third person shared this very valid (and scary) point: "Can't wait for the moment when the 6-year-old is old enough for Reddit, and he posts this story."

Luckily, the mom used to be a sex educator.

So, although she's "banking on it not being burned in their memory since they’re so young and to them [and] it wasn’t life-altering," she would be able to have an age-appropriate conversation with them if they had more questions.

"They know male and female anatomy. They do not need to know the intercourse for pleasure that comes with such anatomy at that age," she explained. "The emotional capacity of most 4 or 6 year olds could not process the information being given in a productive way."

She's not planning on talking to her 6-year-old about the mechanics of sex any time soon "unless he has a specific question."

"So yes, I lied, kind of," she wrote. 

At least one good thing came out of it: exercise. "I definitely got into some yoga positions," she joked.