Sometimes we get lucky in marriage and end up coming into a family we actually love. When that happens, it makes life so much easier, and one might think all their "problems" are solved.
But what if they didn't love you back in the same way and your partner had been hiding it from you? That's exactly what one man did to his wife for eight years.
"She loves family and being with family," the husband wrote. "Her picture of a refreshing day is spending the day with family members."
"Since her mother died pretty young, she became really attached to my mother who likes to baby my siblings and I," he wrote. "She feels like the two of them have a special relationship and she loves it."
The only issue is his mother (and father, for that matter) do not feel the same way.
"I think they're just really hung up on my previous girlfriend who they were really rooting for," he confessed. "They aren't outright rude to her face and try to be friendly but they can be a bit off behind her back. One example would be their nickname for her which is Fiona. Obviously she loves it and sees it as something sentimental but it's actually just a reference to Shrek (only found out last year)."
That's inevitably what led to a huge blowout.
"Today I was on a call with them and my mom asked how Fiona was," the dad said. "I shouted at her to stop using that name (spoken about it before) and warned her against calling her that. My wife overheard the conversation and asked me why I was so upset over it. Eventually I told her the truth and she understandably was angry. I gave her space and she called her dad. I didn't want to eavesdrop on the conversation but she did call me an [expletive]."
Now the husband wants to know: Was he totally wrong for not coming clean to his wife?
"I understand that she's upset and rightfully so but to be honest I'm struggling to see the wrong in me lying to her about this," he wrote. "She was happy in the ignorance of what was going on, my kids were happy with their grandparents in their lives and I was happy keeping the peace."
The general consensus was that he was way, way in the wrong.
"Instead of confronting a small, difficult problem early on, you allowed your girlfriend then wife to build a strong love for your parents. Imagine the betrayal she must feel," explained one reader. "Betrayal from your parents, but also betrayal from you. You, her husband, knowingly allowed her to play the fool for years. Your parents are [expletive] for being two-faced as well. You had good intentions, but you done [expletive] up."
Commenters who were wives also noted how terrible it would make them feel.
"As someone who loves my in-laws and believe they love me too; I would be horrified and humiliated if I found out they had been making fun of me behind my back for years and my fiancé didn't tell me. How absolutely awful. That poor woman," empathized one woman.
Ultimately he did what he did for one reason: selfishness.
"Imagine how much of an idiot she must have felt for thinking she had a special bond with them and all the while they didn't even like her," one person wrote. "You should have confronted the issue years ago and told your parents to get over your ex. But you just protected yourself from an uncomfortable situation."
Ouch. Here's to hoping this family can heal.
