If there is one nasty side effect from being home all the time, it's that it's giving people too much time to stew. Especially one man who decided that he needed to write a two-page letter to his daughter's old high school boyfriend informing him that he is seeking restitution for taking his daughter's virginity — something that took place more than 10 years ago.
The letter was discovered by, of all people, the ex-boyfriend's wife of seven years.
It was shared on Twitter by his friend, who noted that his unnamed buddy's wife is NOT the daughter of the man who penned the lengthy letter.
"One of my best and oldest friends broke up with his high school girlfriend over a decade ago," user Isaac N. wrote Thursday. "Today, his wife of 7 years found this absolute ornament in their mailbox."
The letter starts off by acknowledging that yeah, it's been a long time.
"Nearly ten years," the anonymous dad wrote, since the man "stole my daughter's virginity."
"Initially it was my intention to forgive you," he continued. "But after I confronted you about it and you expressed repentance, I later learned that you have since gone and done the same to others."
As far as the dad was concerned, the man regarded "the matter more like winning a game than the despicable deed it was."
"So, I have decided to irrevocably retract any offer of forgiveness," he wrote.
This wasn't a decision he made hastily … oh no, no. He's spent his time "in the interim" praying and studying scriptures to figure out what he wanted to do.
At the time, the dad was "a man of modest means."
"And you deliberately took from me my most precious treasure," he accused. "A treasure I invested my heart and soul and every available resource in creating."
You know — his daughter's virginity.
He accused the man of robbing him the "the sublime joy of giving my pure, virgin daughter away in marriage to her chosen husband."
And broke trust with both him and God.
He added that because the man "has never raised a daughter" he will never be able to understand his anger.
"However, I will tell you that my wrath against you is so great that to kill you by prolonged and extreme torture followed by the thorough desecration and destruction of your corpse would not be enough to extinguish my anger," he explained.
Luckily the dad is a man of faith -- so he'll refrain from all the wrath, and the killing, and the desecration.
As a Christian, he can't hate the man enough to wish he send eternity in hell.
Whew. That's a relief.
Then the dad quoted several pieces of scripture.
The Bible verses referred to how when Jacob wanted to marry Rachel, he had to work for her father for seven years. The dad pointed out that he and the man had made no such agreement.
"You took my daughter's virginity through deception and seduction," he wrote. "Therefore, it was stolen, and you are a thief and a liar."
According to the Bible, a thief must repay sevenfold what he has stolen. So by the dad's math, that's seven years virginity labor times seven in thief repayments. "Or 49 years of the prime years of your life."
As if this all wasn't weird enough, the dad added that he's going to petition the courts of heaven.
The petition will ask to take the man's youth "and all the good that goes with it" and give it to the dad instead. Specifically, he wants God to age the man and "rejuvenate me 49 years."
"Therefore, if from this date you discover that you have aged significantly or are aging rapidly, know that it is not a medical condition, " he added. "It is the judgement of God."
Just in case the man is wondering, the dad added that he won't give him back his youth under any conditions.
"Nothing you can do could restore my daughter’s virginity and our family’s honor," he wrote. "You have also stained your family’s honor, but that is another matter you must face with them."
The dad, however, is pretty sure the former boyfriend will be condemned to hell.
"I have actually seen Hell firsthand and assure you that it is very real and terrible beyond description," he wrote.
He ended the letter by imploring the man to seek forgiveness to any other parents who he might have "swindled" their daughter's virginities from.
"You must still repent and ask God for His forgiveness to have any hope of salvation," he wrote. "I do not expect He is pleased with you."
As one can probably guess, on the internet people were simply tickled by this dad's furious letter.
More than 57,000 have shared the post online and pretty much everyone agreed: This was completely strange.
"As a Christian father here 1) this is insane 2) my daughter has agency 3) even if my daughter makes mistakes she is still worthy of my love 4) Salvation is not earned but through belief 5) this youth stealing thing is … insane," one person wrote.
"I need to know how he has 'actually seen Hell firsthand,'" someone else commented.
A third person had a pretty useful suggestion for the ex: "He should find a makeup artist, and every day put a polaroid of himself growing older and older into the psycho dad's mailbox, begging him to cancel the curse."
In a follow-up tweet, Isaac N. shared that word of the dad's letter got back to the "victim" of the virginity theft: the dad's daughter.
She only had one thing that she wanted to make clear: "The ex-girlfriend has demanded I set the record straight," Isaac wrote. "She, in fact, broke up with him."
All jokes aside, this dad needs a clear lesson that his daughter's virginity was never his property or something that could be "stolen" from him. She was capable of deciding when and with whom she wanted to have sex with for the first time.
