Black feminists are having a proud public moment: Our hashtags, like #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen and #BlackPowerIsForBlackMen, are evoking important conversations about race, gender, and sexuality on social media. Our feminist sisters, like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, are championing our issues on iconic songs. We even have a congressional caucus for Black women and girls.
Yet, people, even the well-meaning ones, still bombard Black feminists with questions and comments that undercut our commitment to equality. Most of these ignorant comments stem from a fundamental lack of understanding of what it means to be a Black feminist.
Here it is, in a nutshell: Black Feminism arose when Black women realized their specific needs — racism and sexism, specifically — weren't being addressed in the Black Power Movement or the Women's Rights Movement. We were constantly told to address either sexism or racism, even though these identities are inextricably bound for us.
I've identified as a Black feminist since 2012, and it's unbelievably frustrating to be misunderstood.
So, I've compiled a handy list of idiotic shit you should not say when you encounter a Black Feminist like me:
"Does it always to have be about race?"
One word: Yes. ICYMI, Black women don't get to choose when we're women and when we're Black. We're navigating both of these identities at the same damn time, so it's perfectly possible for a slight to be both sexist and racist. By the way, intersectionality is more than a buzz word. Google Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw.
"You're dividing women!"
Feminism has a race problem. It always has, and sadly, always will. It isn't divisive to highlight mainstream feminism's constant failure to consider how race factors into so many issues, such as domestic violence and the wage gap. Not addressing racism is.
"Beyoncé/Rihanna/Nicki Minaj is too sexy to be a feminist."
Can we stop policing how Black women express themselves? How a woman performs her sexuality doesn't lessen her commitment to equality. Just ask Madonna, the patron saint of White Feminism.
Beyoncé, literally, stood in front an emblazoned feminist sign during MTV's Video Music Awards. Nicki Minaj has highlighted how vocal women are treated differently than men. Rihanna's song "Man Down," is all about a woman overcoming a sexual assault. How much more feminist should they be?
I guess showing some skin and twerking makes them less feminist. I get it: The male gaze sucks. But get this: Black women have been subverting the male gaze for a long time. And actually, it's revolutionary for Black women, who've been painted as sexually deviant to find pleasure in their bodies.
"I'm not privileged. I grew up poor."
Growing up poor doesn't negate white privilege. You've encountered financial hardships, which sucks, but that doesn't mean you don't collectively benefit from your whiteness in other ways. For example, on average, Black women have a net worth of $120, compared to $45,000 for white women.
This line is particularly grating coming from white feminists who so readily highlight male privilege, but can't see their own.
"Gloria Steinem's the foremother of feminism."
Let me stop you right there: Calling Gloria Steinem the foremother of feminism erases the amazing and revolutionary Black women who laid the groundwork for her. What about the Combahee River Collective? Sojourner Truth, who made the world recognize her Blackness and her womanhood? Harriet Tubman, who dumped her husband when he got free, but wanted her to remain enslaved? Or Alice Walker? Or Ida B. Wells-Barnett?
Steinem may have founded Ms. Magazine, but she didn't do it alone. And hello, she even admitted this past March at Black Enterprise's Women of Power Summit that Black women taught her feminism.
In the words of the patron saint of classy clap backs, Beyoncé, we've been on. Stop erasing us.
"You don't have to be so mean."
Tone-policing is the fucking worst. Calling out racism, sexism, and the other ills that plague Black women isn't easy, and being spurred at every turn makes it worst. Black women aren't required to be nice when calling out oppressive behavior, so cut the shit.
Also: Tone-policing simply derails important conversations. Whether I'm cussing or speaking "politely," my message remains the same: Stop contributing to oppressive systems.
"I don't see color."
Everything is wrong with thinking that colorblindness — or saying that accepting people because they're human — will solve racism. Racism is a system. While it is about how white people interact with people of color, it's really about the policies that purposefully impede on our rights. Colorblindness comes with a cost, as Adia Harvey Wingfield explains at The Atlantic.
"By claiming that they do not see race, they also can avert their eyes from the ways in which well-meaning people engage in practices that reproduce neighborhood and school segregation, rely on 'soft skills' in ways that disadvantage racial minorities in the job market, and hoard opportunities in ways that reserve access to better jobs for white peers."
Plus, I love being Black. Denying a part of my identity to justify your racism is unacceptable.
"We should be empowering each other. Our struggle is the same."
Sisterhood is an admirable goal. Sisterhood is, literally, cultivating a coalition of support. However, sisterhood is also recognizing that while our struggles may be similar, they are also very different. Our struggle is not the same. Yes, we may both be battling sexism, but sexism has a different impact on Black women.
For example, mainstream feminists love toting out the "women make 79 cents to every $1 a man makes." That stat only applies to white women, since Black and Latina women make much less. Recognizing how race, sexuality, and other intersections impact women of color, and standing with them, is the ultimate act of sisterhood.
"Blame white men, don't blame us!"
You do know you also benefit from white privilege, right? Encountering sexism and socioeconomic classism does not negate your access to whiteness. Yes, white men do benefit from both male and racial privilege, but white women — and the chastity assigned to them — has been used to oppress Black women for centuries.
White women's tears have ruined lives and changed history. Also, white women are notorious cultural appropriators. Miley Cyrus, anybody? What about the co-opting of "squad goals," "on fleek," and a number of other words that originated in Black communities, but are credited to white women? You've harmed us too, so no.
"Not all white feminists..."
You've read Patricia Hill Collins, bell hooks, Alice Walker, and a number of other Black Feminist theorists. You acknowledge racism in feminism. You scream "Black Lives Matter." Your allyship is appreciated.
However, when we're having conversations about the ways that Black women have been oppressed, piping up with "not all white feminists" derails the convo and places the spotlight back on you. Allyship is not eating up space with your feelings.
There's a social media saying that I love: "Shhh! It's Black girl time." That applies here. Don't be this person. We're not indicting you. We're indicting the system.
Main Image: Twitter/@BeneViera
