There is no one tougher to please than a bride with a specific vision who is willing to do anything to make her dream day a reality. Some brides enforce strict dress codes, demand their bridesmaids lose weight, and ask groomsmen to cut their hair. But recently a woman wrote to Reddit unsure of how to handle her friend, who told her she couldn’t bring her husband to her wedding because he was short.
The friend asked her to be her maid of honor at her August wedding but recently told her something strange.
When her friend told the Original Poster (OP) in October that she was getting married, she didn’t know her date yet, the OP explained in the Am I the A–hole forum.
“Now she has the date and she told me she thinks it would be better if my husband didn't come,” she explained.
At first her friend played dumb but later confessed that she didn’t want the OP's husband to attend because he was short.
“He has around 165 cm (5 feet 4.961 inches) while I have 166cm (5 feet 5.354 inches),” she explained. “I think the difference is not that big and I offered I wou[l]dn't wear heels but she said I must wear them cause I am the maid of honor and bridesmaids will wear heels as well.”
The OP was furious and said she wasn’t going to come to the wedding if her husband wasn't invited.
Her friend shot back that it was her wedding and that OP should respect her wishes.
“She said that she counts with me as with the maid of honor and I can't do this to her,” she recalled. “I told her she is being shallow and that it is either me and my husband or none of us.”
Her husband is clearly on her side, but the OP can’t tell if her husband was jaded because he didn’t like the friend.
“I asked my friend and she said I am the a–hole cause it is just one day and it is about the bride so I shouldn't make a drama out of it,” she recalled. “So perhaps I am the a–hole because I am focusing on me being there with my husband and not at what the bride wants?”
People were furious.
Commenters agreed that it wasn't the MOH who was being the jerk.
“You and your husband are 100% correct," one person wrote, adding this:
"What on earth did she think your response would be? I think 'Both of us or neither of us' is entirely fair. For someone who is about to get married, she seems to have an odd idea of what marriage entails. You cant have it both ways. It sounds like she is essentially saying 'My marriage is important, yours is not.'"
"The bride is showing zero respect to you," another person commented. "I wouldn't attend either and would probably be ending the relationship over this. Your husband wouldn't be in her professional, formal pictures anyhow."
"I would completely ditch this person as a friend," a third commenter added.
In the end, the OP and her husband were trying to be diplomatic about the situation. Her husband was hurt but gave her the benefit of the doubt because her friend might be stressed over her wedding.
"He isn't that surprised as he always thought she was shallow," the OP later explained. "It hurts him though I think but since I said I am not coming without him he is okay.
"We agreed to give her chance to apologize in case it is just wedding stress," she added. "She has time till tomorrow then we are closing it and we are not coming and I think it is also end of the friendship then."
In a final update, she shared that her polite attempt to fix the situation failed. "So she finally wrote me, she very rudely told me that if this is my attitude I can /the F word/ off. I was polite in my message and she can't do even that. So we are not going and I don't really want to talk to her after this all."
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