Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, is known for many things — her charity work, her exceptionally cute kids, her dedication to excellent coats, and her borderline-magical hair.
I don't know what dark magic she uses to get such perfect blowouts every single time, but I'd like to get in on that action.
I've written extensively about Kate Middleton — I tracked every single thing she wore (and rewore) for a solid year. I thought that when it comes to Kate's style, I knew literally everything, down to the subtle ways she's been changing her signature eye makeup look since late 2015.
But I missed something. Turns out that one of the secrets to Kate's incomparable hair game is an old-school hair hack that most people our age wouldn't look twice at.
And I cannot believe I never noticed it.
When you think of Kate Middleton's hair, you probably imagine something like this: Long, shiny, blown out absolutely flawlessly, imbued with borderline magical powers.
Many call it Princess Hair — I call it the kind of perfection that makes me grab my laptop screen and hiss "HOW IS SHE DOING THAT, HOW IS THIS FAIR."
But on the rare occasions she wears her hair UP, she employs a secret weapon. And I honestly cannot believe I didn't notice it before.
Your grandmother used this.
Your great-grandmother used this.
If you did ballet, this was probably the bane of your existence.
That's right. When the Duchess of Cambridge wears her hair in a royal updo, she wears a hairnet.
But this is no ORDINARY hairnet. It's definitely not the $1 version you wrestled your hair into before your childhood dance concerts. This is a ROYAL hairnet, people — which means it's fancy.
Not only is this hairnet #blessed enough to contain Kate's majestic blowout, it's a luxury item in its own right. Let's take a closer look. COMPUTER, ENHANCE!
Kate's hairnet is made of the very finest, most delicate mesh you can imagine.
Was it hand-woven from silk spun from the asses of extremely elegant spiders? Who's to say? If there's one thing I've learned from "The Crown," it's that there is literally no aspect of the royal appearance that is not considered. If it's possible to hand-weave a super luxurious hairnet, goddammit, those spiders are on their way to earning a Royal Warrant.
Not only is the net incredibly delicate, it's also the *exact* shade of brown of Kate's hair so that it blends in perfectly. Now, is it especially dyed to match K.Midds' particular blend of highlighted chestnut? Or is Kate's hair so magical that any medium-brown hairnet just happens to vanish into it without a trace?
The world may never know…
Our Girl Kate tends to deploy her hairnets strategically, using them mostly to contain her hair during formal events outside where flyaways are NOT an option. Here she is, casually killing it at the Royal Ascot in a white mesh hat, low knotted hairstyle, and a HAIRNET.
The British royal family has notoriously strict dress codes when it comes to official events — women must wear tights, no "crazy" nail polish colors, nude lip glosses ONLY, etc etc. One of the most unbreakable rules has apparently always been "no messy hair," but how to achieve that when a good portion of your job involves being outside? Inclement weather is no excuse for having one's hair out of place!
Hence the hairnets. In my opinion, they give Middleton the freedom of wearing her hair up sometimes, without having to worry too much about it.
The fact that no runaway strands will be getting stuck in her lipgloss would be reason enough to love hairnets.
If you didn't know you were looking for a fine mesh hairnet in this picture, would you even know it was there?
I definitely wouldn't. It's invisible. It's the Middleton updo secret weapon.
The earliest evidence that I was able to find of The Middleton Hairnet was from June 30, 2016.
Per Getty's informative image caption, Catherine Duchess of Cambridge was attending the "Vigil at The Commonwealth War Graves Commission Theipval Memorial for the Commemoration of the Centenary of The Battle of the Somme."
This would have been an immensely serious occasion, and one that looks to have taken place is rainy, windy, miserable weather. It wouldn't have been the time or place to be swatting your hair out of your face when the breeze kicks up. The hairnet is definitely a practical consideration.
Since then, Kate seems to have worn hairnets almost every time she wears an updo, which is when it will make her life easier.
On this 2017 Royal Tour occasion, Kate and Wills flew from Poland to Berlin with their two kids, met with politicians, visited charities and memorials, and greeted the public. If I had to do all of that while also wrangling two children under eight, all with the knowledge that the cameras of the world were trained on me and any screw-ups I made, however small, would be front-page news…
I'd wear a hairnet too, is what I'm saying.
It also gives the Duchess a bit of room to experiment with different updo styles, especially the ones that defy any known hair logic.
This is from the 2017 Easter service, and no matter how far I zoom in, I CANNOT SEE THIS HAIRNET. I know, logically, that it must be there — nobody's hair can be THAT perfectly pinned — and yet I cannot detect it with my non-royal eyeballs.
The Middleton Hairnet has finally defeated me.
When attending Pippa's 2017, Kate's outfit and hat were 100% pale pink appropriateness. But her hair — again, ensconced in a hairnet — let her have a bit of fun with her look.
OK, let's get this out of the way: Kate's style is pretty conservative. Her "fun hair" is not going to look like Katy Perry's. This is certainly the most elaborate updo I've ever seen her wear, especially to such a high profile event — the wedding of her sister, Pippa — and yes, the structural integrity is maintained thanks to an invisible hairnet.
Again, part of this may have been due to practical considerations. Though the ceremony took place inside, it seemed like a lot of Kate's job involved organizing the many page boys and flower girls. Kids at weddings are hard. Kids at weddings who have been forced to wear knickerbockers are even harder. If I were Kate, one simple hairnet would not be enough.
As Wills and Kate's family grows — they're currently expecting their third child — I wonder if we'll see more of the Middleton Hairnet... and if it could possibly start a trend.
Most of us don't have to worry about looking picture-perfect for the paparazzi wherever we go, but if Kate is doing something, it's only a matter of time before the rest of the world catches on.
When Kate wears clothing, it sells out. When she gets long bangs, we ALL get long bangs. So if Kate's making elaborate updos and magical hairnets one of her beauty trademarks, how long until we all start doing it?
I'll be digging out my old ballet hairnets, just in case.
