We all know that job hunting is painful, but imagine how hurt one woman was when she finally landed an interview only to find out that her husband canceled it behind her back. Her husband claimed her only did it because of her physical disabilities — but the internet is convinced that there's something more going on.
As the original poster explained, she had to stop working in 2019 because of her disabilities.
Since then, “no company wanted to hire me,” she wrote in a post on Reddit's AITA forum.
“My husband said that it's better I just stay home and not worry about working,” she recalled. “I agreed and he's become the breadwinner, then… it's like a switch that flipped because chores were 50/50 but after I lost my job they became 100% on me (keep in mind my physical disabilities I developed).”
Her husband argued that he didn’t have to do anything around the house because the OP stays home "24/7."
She told him that wasn’t fair — especially because “I suffered from physical discomfort.”
“He made a deal with me and promised that everything will be 50/50 once I start working again,” she recalled. “I told him I would find a job and he laughed and said ‘good luck’ (I remember this vividly because of the strange laugh that I never heard him laugh before).”
At first, the OP wasn’t having any luck finding a new gig.
But then a friend’s husband found her the perfect work-from-home job that wouldn’t push her physically.
“I was so excited and felt like I'm capable again despite the struggle, they scheduled an interview with me and when I told my husband he looked red in the face but said nothing,” she recalled.
A few days before her interview, the OP learned something terrible: “I found out that my job interview got canceled.”
“I found out when my friend reached out to ask why I did that but I said I had no Idea,” she recalled.
She didn’t see anything when she checked her email "and found nothing because I didn't send anything to the company."
But her husband knew the truth. When he came home, he admitted that he’d canceled her interview.
“I asked why and he said that ‘this job had lots of requirements and I didn't seem fit to be accepted there so to spare me the heartache of being rejected, he just canceled the interview.’” she wrote.
The OP was crushed. She told her husband he’d “destroyed my one and only chance at landing a job.”
While he told her that he’d only canceled her interview for her own "well-being."
The OP told him that she believed he only did it so that he wouldn’t have to split chores with her, “and he seemed offended by that,” she wrote.
“He threw a fit about how unreasonable and selfish I was to even consider a job without speaking to him first,” she continued. “I told him I don't get involved in his work life.”
“He called me horrible for accusing him of bad intentions then went out to meet his friends probably to vent because one of them told me that my husband is looking out for me but I was being cruel to him by yelling,” she wrote.
Since their disagreement, the OP’s husband has been “cold-shouldering” her and deleted all of her social media accounts (including her original Reddit account) “claiming that they're bad for my mental health because of the negative affect some of those platforms have.”
“Am I the A–hole?” she asked.
The comments section was unanimous: Her husband wasn't just wrong, this was dangerous behavior.
"Hopefully the friends who helped them get the interview will be understanding and let OP stay with them," one commenter wrote. "Or maybe family. This is a pretty scary situation. It’s like he doesn’t want OP having a life outside of their home, even if it’s just a virtual one."
Another person commented: “[Not the A–hole] 'new account because he deleted my main.' I just had to read this one line and knew this was not going to be you in the wrong. This man has extreme control issues! RUN! He should be lifting you up and encouraging your growth and happiness. Not beating you down when you try to do something that makes you happy. I hope you realize you deserve so much better."
"GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT," someone else advised. "Call your friends, your parents, your dogsitter, whoever can take you and leave right now. Get a divorce the moment you are out and never go near him again. This is twelve different kinds of abusive and could escalate very easily. He wants you helpless and dependant on him so he can abuse you and it's only going to get worse. RUN NOW."
Hopefully the OP can get support to help her through this situation, but it seems pretty clear that canceling your spouse's job interview is beyond weird.
If you or someone you know has been the victim of domestic abuse, you can find help and support at DVIS.org, the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or by contacting your local women's shelter (domesticshelters.org).
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