Sex is one of those things you have to learn through trial and error. The only real window most of us have into what sex looks like logistically are movies rated PG-13 and beyond. While these images provide some information about what we can expect, they don’t often succeed in showing the messy, awkward and sometimes dangerous realities of sex.
Thankfully, we’re living in the digital age where people don’t mind sharing. They did that and then some on a recent Reddit thread that asked people what’s one sexual thing they would never do again.
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Shower sex ranked as one of the top sex fails.
Immediately, commenters went for it, detailing their failed sexcapades. At the top of the list was shower sex.
It makes for beautiful cinematic moments, with all that water cascading down intertwined bodies. But in reality, it can be uncomfortable. Not only does water wash away natural lubricant, getting steamy in the shower can also make you feel a little disoriented.
“Shower sex bent over made me dizzy like I'd pass out,” one user shared. Nearly 5,000 people liked the comment. Anyone with low blood pressure or those who have showered without eating can attest to a similar feeling. Turns out there’s a physiological reason for that.
According to Medical News Today, that’s because the vagus nerve is overstimulated during both sex and hot showers. The overstimulation results in a drop in blood pressure, which can make you feel lightheaded or cause you to faint.
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Outdoor locations were also a no-no.
Another sex fail came from someone who got freaky in the forest. “So many mosquito bites. So many,” the Redditor wrote. We’re sure with all that extra blood flowing, those mosquitoes had a fantastic time. Dinner and a movie.
The woods is not the only outdoor locale that has caused problems. Someone else shared they they will never do beach sex again. “You will forget about the sand, but then you will quickly remember the sand,” they wrote.
People detailed the things that burned.
For others, it was the props that caused a problem. “My girlfriend gave me a blowjob while having a really strong mint in her mouth,” another user shared. “On paper it sounds amazing but my d— was in excruciating pain.”
There was another burning incident thanks to a meal prepared before the deed. “Had a casual friends with benefits sorta thing back in high school with this guy. Was over at his apartment and he had just made himself a grilled cheese. No biggie right? Well he didn't inform me he made his grilled cheese with [Tabasco] sauce. One finger in and I audibly yelped. Took us a while to realize why I was on fire.”
Interestingly enough, this “friend” married the commenter’s best friend. She concluded her story with a thought. “Sometimes I'll see him put [Tabasco] on something he's eating and wonder if that's ever happened to her,” she wrote.
Spitting was also a no-go for some folks.
Other horror stories included people playing out their kinks before getting permission. “One time a dude spit in my mouth without asking and I almost reflexively punched him square in the nose. never again.”
Sadly, there was someone else who could relate. “My ex-husband did that to me,” another user wrote. "It was so disgusting, he was a smoker and didn't have the best dental hygiene. It was literally traumatizing.”
To each their own? Try everything once? Honestly, we don't know. A little adventure can be good, but yeah … remember, things can go awry pretty quickly when it comes to sex.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
