
Clueless men doing their girlfriends' (and boyfriends') makeup has become a beauty blogging staple β and for good reason. It's almost always goddamned hilarious.
So how could you make this funnier? Why, with porn stars, of course. Wood Rocket asked porn star Johnny Sins to do his real-life partner, Kissa Sins', makeup β and filmed the entire process. It's the funniest beauty tutorial you'll ever see, and spoiler alert: it involves way more saliva than you'd expect.
Johnny starts out very confidently, even though he's never done anyone's makeup before.

"I guess maybe... EYE LINER first?"

"It's not as easy at it looks," he says. And like… duh.
"Next thing we're going to do... what did you call it? Eye shadow?"

There's a LOT of saliva involved in this step.

Like, A LOT.

It probably goes without saying, but DON'T use spit on other peoples' faces to fix makeup mistakes, ok?
A DISTRESSING AMOUNT OF SALIVA.

Anyway. Now it's time for false eyelashes, and Johnny has a legit question about the glue...

Johnny is, understandably, proud (?) of his lash placement.

"It feels amazing," says Kissa. "Is it ON my eyebrow?"
But credit where credit's due: he does an amazing job blending her foundation.

After confusing her cream blush with lipstick, he applies some color to Kissa's cheeks.

And he does a WAY better job at it than I do, and this is part of my job.
Emboldened by this success, he gets inventive with lip color.

And the end result, according to Kissa?

*hysterical laughter*