I Had An Abortion for 1 Reason: Because I Wanted It & I Feel Zero Shame About It

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We so often hear about how abortions are in many cases not wanted but medically necessary. The truth is, our bodily autonomy doesn't need a bigger reason than "because this is right for me." And that's why I'm here to tell you …

I had an abortion at 21 years old, and I’m not sorry. I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t regret it. In fact, I consider it to be one of the best decisions I ever made.

My story is pretty simple and straightforward.

When I found myself pregnant due to a birth control failure at age 21, I was working two jobs. I hadn’t yet finished college and was largely directionless. I was also in a very unhealthy, almost abusive, relationship with a person that I absolutely did not want to raise a child with.

For me, the decision to terminate the pregnancy was simple.

The procedure itself was quick and relatively painless. I even went to work without complications the next day.

Growing up, my grandmother, who herself had birthed nine children, was adamant about the right to access safe pregnancy terminations. She had witnessed her cousin who had been raped hemorrhage to death after trying to give herself an abortion with a coat hanger.

This had always served as a harrowing reminder of how lucky I was to have access to such a safe, sterile procedure.

I’m now in a respectful relationship with a person I love.

I’ve earned two master’s degrees and have a solid career. I also now have two daughters (both of whom were unplanned but came at a time in my life where I possessed confidence and stability that I had not previously). All of these are wonderful things I almost certainly wouldn’t have had I not chosen to terminate my pregnancy several years ago.

I know not everyone in my shoes would have made the same choice I did. That’s OK — my best decision does not have to equal someone else’s best decision. I applaud those who decide to keep their babies; just because I am pro-choice does not mean that I am anti-life or think that everyone should do what I did. But I’m glad we all have a choice.

I’m sharing my story in hopes of lifting some of the stigma and shame around abortion that permeates our culture.

The anti-abortion community often perpetuates the myth that most women who have abortions deeply regret them or go on to lead lives marked with sadness, and this is just not always the case. I know of many women like myself who don’t look back at their pregnancy termination with despair or remorse but with relief and gratitude.

With Roe v. Wade in a precarious state, it frightens me that my daughters might not have the same rights that I did should they find themselves faced with an unwanted pregnancy.

More pressingly, it concerns me that pregnant people in many parts of the country are currently faced with increasingly restrictive, oppressive abortion laws. Abortion should be a human right, not an uncertain luxury. The right to an abortion is about much more than just having control over what happens to our bodies. It's very much about control over the outcome of our entire lives.