Many people think that when you get a marriage license, you also get a death warrant for your sex life.
But I found seven married couples — some who I know, and some from Reddit — who've been together anywhere from five to 15 years who note that, really, that's not the case at all; in fact, on the whole, their sex lives have either remained the same, or gotten better in many ways.
Here's what they had to say:
There's more communication
"I think it's the same in terms of frequency — we pretty much have sex every other night, but I guess some things may be a little more adventurous now that we are married… We also talk about it often though, to make sure we are happy with our sexual relationship and don't forget how important it is."
— Together six years, married 11 months
You realize how important sex is in your relationship
"We did have a downturn after one of the kids. Once I noticed it, we had a talk about it, which did include a call-back to us agreeing on the importance of an active sex life way back when. The situation was turned around. We've been at about 4-5 times a week for years now.
"That's the quantity side of it. As for quality… it has been getting better and dirtier as time goes on."
— Together 15 years, married 10 years
The sex gets better over time
"I haven't noticed any change in sex since we got married. Same as before marriage; it just keeps getting better the longer we've been together!"
— Together five years, married five months
YOU get better AT sex over time
"The sex is less frequent (about every other day) than it was at its peak, but I'd say the sex itself is better in every way than it was when we were first together and just fucking daily (or more). We're more open, more communicative, and frankly, just better at it than we were all those years ago."
— Together 14 years, married 13 years
It's not always romantic
"Sex really doesn't change after marriage if you've [already] been living together. For us, both working a lot and busy, we have to be OK with not always being romantic. A lot of weeks we plan, at least to the extent of saying 'let's have some time Saturday morning,' before we separately work out if we're exhausted on Friday. I think some slowdown for busy couples happens after you move in for a while."
— Together five years, married four months
Quality becomes more important than quantity
"Been with my wife for about eight years. The sex is definitely less frequent than when you first start. The desire to have sex multiple times a day fades on both ends, and you really start to want it about once a week. It's waaaaaay kinkier though. Even when it isn't you are just really good at fucking each other because you have a ton of practice, so the sex is amazing."
— Together eight years
You explore more
"Sex is definitely less frequent (average once a week), but is still hot AF. Our long relationship and deep friendship allows us to be completely honest with one another. This has made the exploration of kinks and fantasies much easier and more fun."
— Together nine years, married three years
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
