There is a lot of pressure when it comes to giving the perfect gift to someone we love. We have to make sure it has some personal meaning, take into account what our partner's preferences are, and keep our fingers crossed that they don't hate it. For husbands purchasing something special for their wives, jewelry is often a go-to gift, but it comes with added pressures of taste, fit, color, and cost.
One wife took to Reddit to talk about this very topic and the gift her husband gave her that didn't land.
Posting to Reddit's AITA community, an anonymous woman shared a situation she's found herself in and gave some context to the story. She wanted to know if she was wrong for "being obviously irritated and angry by my husband’s (55/M) gift?"
She wrote that there's one gift that "we have argued over for literally years. We’ve been together almost 10 years now. We are the best of friends. We talk all the time, no one has ever known me as well as this sweet man who is an absolute saint, which is why this issue is such a pain in both our a–es."
She told the community she and her husband are close.
"Keep in mind, we are practically inseparable," she shared. "Unless we are at work, we are most likely together, with the occasional girls’ or guys’ night out.
"I say this to make it clear this man knows me very well. We shop together, and so he has probably seen hundreds of jewelry items that I have said I really like and wear, and hundreds more I have said are not for me."
The wife then goes on to outline what her preferences are for jewelry.
"Well — two of those things are: yellow gold — on anything. White gold is fine as well as any old Fart mart steel, I’m not asking for expensive anything, seriously, I wear Walmart hoops," she explained. "But if the metal doesn’t appear silver, it’s just not my taste. I’ve been this way since college. It’s a part of who I am — jewelry I wear is silver in color."
She added, "In addition, I don’t care for expensive heart shaped jewelry. Hearts are fine for silly fun (and for anyone else who likes them as well, it’s just not for me) but if it’s major jewelry, I’d never choose hearts."
Oh, and expensive doesn't matter to her — well, kind of.
"Finally, if I am gifted a 'nice' piece of jewelry — hear me OUT — then I don’t want a $150 piece with 10 barely dust diamonds. I prefer my loved one save his money, and gift me one nicer piece after many years, than to have lots of pieces that cost 100 bucks or so," she explained.
"To be clear, I don’t demand any of this, it’s just a preference I have regarding gifts I receive, and is something I feel I’ve said to my husband many times."
Then, she described what happened – FOUR years ago.
"About 4 years ago, my husband was at work, and a client of his had a ring for sale," she wrote. "I’m sure you can guess what it looked like. When he gave it to me, I want to be clear! I wasn’t rude, I said 'it’s so sweet of you to get me a gift,' and thanked him. I put it in my jewelry box and waited," she explained.
"I didn’t say anything negative, but I didn’t wear it either. He noticed and when he brought it up, I told him the truth. Not harshly, but not gently either."
She explained to the Reddit community why she doesn't like it.
"This gift says to me: 'I don’t know you at all, and your personality is very generic to me, much like this gift.' It’s actually deeply insulting to me that my best friend who is supposed to 'get' me would get me a gift that looks like he could have easily bought it for any woman and expect her/me to like it," she wrote.
"It’s not about the money at all! Ok reddit, AITA?"
And the community had feelings.
"YTA," one Reddit person commented. "I think your expectations might be a little bit too high. I'm sure you both love each other very much, but honestly to remember every preference you have about jewelry is a bit much. Especially since there's quite a lot of specific preferences you've got there."
"Let’s see," another person wrote. "it’s been years and you’re still arguing because he got you a gift you didn’t like, you’re mad that it wasn’t “nice” enough jewelry, it doesn’t seem like this gift was for any particular occasion, YTA. You sound extremely ungrateful and petty. Let it go it’s just a piece of jewelry."
"40 year old lady here with similar preferences for jewellery," replied another commenter. "There's expecting your partner to know what you like in your coffee, then there's expecting your partner to know very detailed preferences for a very specific and niche thing. As a widow, I'm appalled at the people who hold grudges against their partner for such small things. YTA."
It's been four years, after all, so it may be time for her to let this go.
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