Being a new parent can often be an isolating experience. There are so many questions, uncertainties, and firsts that it can be helpful to make friends who are experiencing these firsts with you. Something about shared suffering (almost like hazing) that builds bonds for life! For many parents, mom groups or playgroups can be just the lifesaver they need.
But despite all these good reasons to join a mommy group, for many other parents there are just as many reasons to avoid them like the plague. This article will explore whether or not you really need to join a parent group.
What is a mommy group?
Why you might not need (or want) a traditional mommy group
Despite all the benefits of a community of parents who can live life with you in the trenches, some folks aren’t too keen on them. Don’t let anyone shame you into joining a mommy group. Like all things in life, it’s a personal choice.
Some of the reasons for not wanting or needing a traditional parenting group include:
You already have a good support system
If you are already surrounded by a community in a similar life stage, you might not feel the need to meet new people.
You don’t have the bandwidth
Alternatively, you might not have the emotional or social bandwidth to socialize and navigate a new social group, which comes with all the cons of any social group but without any history of love and friendship.
In addition, if you are a minority, you may find the emotional labor too burdensome.
“I dislike being in the minority, and being Facebook friends with them created rifts based on views I wouldn't see displayed in the group — such as racism,” mom of two Jess Nichelle told us. “Race has become the elephant in the room, and at one point I was trying to educate. But I'm exhausted, so I withdrew.”
You can’t find a group that aligns with your core beliefs
While we can’t expect a group’s members to be exactly in line with your personal beliefs, it can be particularly awful to be in a group where no one is like you. Especially in the age of COVID-19, it may be difficult to find groups who are taking the same precautions as you are.
