OK, here you are — you made it through the holidays, the New Year, and now you're about to face Valentine’s Day as a single person. It seems like the hits keep coming and you can’t catch a break, I know.
Even if you’ve never been into holidays, there’s something about divorce that can make them — or any kind of celebration — rub you the wrong way. You may find yourself thinking about past Valentine’s Days you shared with your partner, or you may feel extra lonely.
From a woman who has been there, it’s OK and perfectly normal to feel these things. Here are some things I’ve done over the years since my divorce that have helped me tremendously:
Make a plan
Treat yourself
You can be your own Valentine. Don’t wait for someone else to get your flowers, chocolate, jewelry, or a massage. Give yourself those things because you are worth it. Getting a gift on Valentine’s Day isn’t only for those who have a partner — it’s for everyone.
Realize it’s just another day and really has no significance
If you can’t get into it at all, and don’t want any reminders, that's great. Realize it’s just another day and it’s more than OK to stay at home in your pajamas and completely ignore this day. It doesn’t matter if you have a date, if you're feeling heartbroken, or just not ready to acknowledge it. You’ve been through a lot and you're allowed to take time to grieve and heal.
Don’t silently shame yourself
Don’t beat up on yourself for having lonely thoughts or feelings. Don’t tell yourself it’s a stupid holiday and you are stupid for letting it bother you. You are not. This is all part of the process. Just know you will get through it and come out of it even stronger than before. Once we witness yourself doing hard things, we gain confidence in ourselves and realize how much we can handle.
