When I had my first son, I knew there was a lot I did not know about what being a mother would entail. However, I was so sure that with Baby #2 I was an old pro at the whole postpartum and newborn stage. Little did I know, bringing home the second baby would be nothing like the first for various reasons. Just when you think you’ve figured out the baby thing, your second child comes along and brings entirely new challenges yet equally rewarding experiences.
The differences start immediately
Your first child is also an individual
While the excitement of the new baby will probably be positive for all of the adults in the family, firstborns might have a different viewpoint of this new attention-seeking little person. Transitioning a first child is not something I put much thought into. Beyond explaining what the big ball in Mommy’s tummy was and getting him a book about being a big brother, I didn't actually do anything for the transition to big brother status.
We didn't go through the rules of interacting with the baby, expectations for Mommy’s change in attention, or how we were still going to keep up our routines that he’d be accustomed to as an only child. This major life change led to some frustration on the part of my first son that at times we are still working through two years later.
Home life is never going to be the same
Two days after being discharged, our family landed back in the hospital as my youngest was admitted into the NICU. Since then, our home life has not been the same and we have been on the go. While my youngest is fully healthy now, we were immediately torn between the hospital, daycare, home, work, you name it! Now I had to consistently make sure the floor was clean of choking hazards, keep up with the newborn feeding schedule, make sure my toddler was not neglected in his nutrition, and still find time to recover from delivery.
Balancing two children of different ages and with different needs is not for the faint of heart. The skill level required to give individual attention without losing yourself in the middle is a major feat. There were days when I felt completely defeated in getting through my to-do list, and other days where I was lucky to find time to sit and catch up on a show.
The days were oddly unexpected, yet the same things were happening day in and day out. It really was a big blur – but we slowly adjusted. The boys are now best friends. They bonded much more quickly than I would ever have imagined and I cannot imagine a different family mix. While it didn't look how I thought it would, and I didn't factor the level of exhaustion difference from one to two children, I would do it all over again.
