When I became a parent, there were phrases I thought I'd never utter. Some because they were far too cliché, and some because I didn’t know parenting would require so much absurdity to flow from my mouth. First, there are the overused sentences like, “…because I’m the parent.” When my parents busted out that classic, I always felt like it was devoid of any true explanation. I made a silent promise to my future kid I’d never use that one in my perfect parenting. I’ve totally broken that promise.
Then there are phrases I couldn’t have predicted would fly from my lips. The first time I said to my toddler, “Please don’t play with your poop,” I thought would be my last. It was not. Strange advice soars out of my mouth all in an effort to protect and explain.
I feel like I’ve truly been initiated into parenthood since I’ve dusted off these eight classic parenting phrases
Someday I'll come up with new material. For now, these old standards will do.
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Eat your vegetables It’s such a kid cliché that vegetables are avoided at all costs, but my kid avoids vegetables at all costs. Only with much coercing are tiny nibbles even taken. I’m hopeful I can stop pretending his carrot sticks are airplanes once he goes to college.
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Don't climb on the furniture While chairs, couches, and tiny footstools may look like an inviting kid-friendly playground, all this mom sees are injuries waiting to happen. Jumping and leaping on furniture can lead to serious bodily harm, which leads to me reminding my son (and husband) not to climb on it.
Occasionally, I’ve been surprised how perfect these old standards quickly fit the parenting bill, but I’d like to mix it up a bit. I’m still trying to find my way through this mom-ing gig and hopefully that means using phrases that are distinctly mine instead of borrowing ones that have been spoken since the dawn of time. This way I can truly explain to my kid the deeper meaning behind the situations at hand. Why? Because I said so.
