I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting around and thought to myself, if only there were an easy method of choosing a total stranger to have sex with, based solely on their proximity and a probably-falsified photo. Oh, and wouldn't it be great if I could broadcast my location in order to advertise my willingness to do anal?
As it turns out, there's an app for that.
Introducing LocalSin, a "geo-location online dating service" for the modern age. If matchmaking websites seem like they just involve way too much time, what with that whole tedious business of getting to know your prospective dating partners and all, LocalSin is the perfect solution: You just log in, check out the map of compatible horndogs nearby, and make contact. Then, presumably, enjoy the HOT MINDBLOWING SEX.
Or, you know, the frightening back-alley assault followed by the incurable STD diagnosis.
Call me old-fashioned, but this app sounds scary as hell to me. Even if I were single and on the prowl, I don't think there would be any appeal to a mobile app designed specifically to bypass the small talk and proceed directly to the boot-knocking stage. I mean, when did the natural process of a one-night stand — meeting someone in a bar, giving in to the instant attraction, engaging in a series of regrettable activities — become so complicated the world needs a software program to help facilitate it?
Blind dates are bad enough, but this app is for setting up a blind SEX date. How sad is the idea of picking out a partner based on how far away they happen to be? And how creepy is the notion of broadcasting GPS data of your every move to a bunch of people looking to get laid?
I'm just imagining how the fantasy of this meets up with reality. Fantasy: I'm going to arrange a hot hook-up with a super-attractive available guy and finally enjoy that zipless fuck Erica Jong wrote about. Reality: The hot available guy will turn out to be a balding, pudgy married man with a fetish for wearing diapers, but once I discover this, it'll be too late.
It seems I'm in the minority in my reluctance to embrace the warm, sweaty possibilities of LocalSin, though. Not only is the app drawing in tens of thousands of users each week, their spokesperson is convinced LocalSinning is going to change the singles scene forever:
This is going to revolutionize the dating game. It allows men and women of all sexual preferences to locate and link-up with other willing users in the vicinity. By doing so, it minimizes the hassle of moving from one bar to another in search of single people and could easily increase pulling success by at least 90 percent.
What do you think of the LocalSin app? Hot or not?
Image via LocalSin
