There are some people who love to try new foods, and there are others who don’t like to step outside their culinary box. Parents have likely had to navigate a picky eater situation when one of their kids struggled to eat anything other than a few staples. It’s a real concern, but some people don’t grow out of it.
Like one woman (OP), who has battled with what she calls "picky eating" her whole life. She feels like she’s finally in a good place where she’s found some foods that she can eat. But the problem comes in when it’s time to have a meal at her in-laws' house. They don’t understand her struggle and have, instead, called her names.
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OP took to Reddit to share the issue she’s having with her in-laws, hoping for advice.
Posting in Reddit’s AITA community, OP gave a quick rundown on the family dynamics and her challenges with food.
“I (26f) am married to my husband of five years. We met in college, married there and we lived in a college city until 2019 when we moved between our families to start our own,” she began. “We have a daughter who is 11 months old.”
OP explained that she’s “a picky eater.” There are a few foods she can eat, but her food has to be prepared in a particular way.
“I can't eat veggies unless they're spiced,” she explained, “can't eat broccoli or brussel sprouts at all. I don't eat most meat (only chicken) and cannot stand mushrooms or too much cheese.”
OP wrote that she’s 'been this way' her 'whole life.'
“I grew up very skinny because I ate so little and needed vitamins and food supplements to stay healthy,” she explained. “My parents didn't cater so I wouldn't eat. Eventually I learned to cook my own food and buy the stuff to make what I'd enjoy.”
Restaurants aren’t too much of a challenge for her “because I can usually find something spicy on the menu.”
But she is having issues with her in-laws.
“My in-law's were warned about this ahead of time,” she shared. “My husband and I even brought spicy potato and veggie mash for me to eat as a backup.”
But that didn’t go over well. Her in-laws “were offended by my not eating what they had made and they were offended we had brought food.”
Her husband had suggested they bring the food “because he wasn't sure his parents were actually going to provide something for me, not that they were asked, but he wanted to give them a heads up we would bring something and they said not to worry they would provide something from what my husband described.”
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The first time that approach didn’t go over well. And it didn’t the next time, either.
“We tried a few more times but each and every time we brought food they were upset,” OP explained. “I even went a couple of times with no food and didn't eat but that offended too. So last time I told my husband to go without me.”
“They said it's an [a–hole] move to refuse to attend,” she explained, “and I am behaving like a child.”
“But I don't know what to do,” she admitted. “I have tried talking to them. They say they want me to eat like an adult.” But OP believes she’s “found a way to eat healthily and maintain a good diet for the first time in my life.”
She doesn’t know what to do with the in-laws. “I know picky eating is taboo but I can't eat what they cook,” she wrote, “and I can't keep offending them by not eating or bringing my own food.”
OP then asked Redditors to chime in on the situation, hoping they had some good advice.
“Food aversion is real, and while yours might be a little more extreme than others, they are being s—-y hosts,” one Redditor wrote. “If I know my celiacs brother is coming, I’m not cooking spaghetti and garlic bread… if my vegetarian bestie comes, I’m not cooking steak. And don’t even get [me] started on kosher meals required at my wedding! They can’t have it both ways – either cook something you eat, or allow you to bring your own… stand your ground.”
“If they don't want to cook what you eat, that is fine,” another commenter wrote, “but if they also say you cannot bring what you eat they go into a different category.”
“I'm a picky eater myself and I never understood why people get upset when you say you don't want to eat some stuff,” someone else wrote. “’Eat like an adult’ sounds so childish imo. If you don't like some things you simply don't, that's it.”
“Stop discussing your diet with your inlaws. There's nothing more to be said. Your husband needs to deal with his parents,” someone else suggested. “He is the one who needs to tell them to stop demanding you conform to their expectations. He is the person who needs to set the boundary with his mother and father and enforce it, telling them that they may not continue to argue with him or you about your food choices.”
Shame isn't going to help someone with food challenges. Just sayin'.
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