We can all probably agree: Some things should never be said to a child — or that child's mother — and one woman is pretty darn sure that her mother-in-law crossed that line. The problem is that the Original Poster’s “crude” MIL called her granddaughter the b-word (yep, the b-word) on her way out. Now the mom is unsure what to do and turned to a Reddit forum devoted to mother-in-law drama, looking for a little advice.
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The OP was very newly married when the incident happened.
But the OP and her husband have been together for a year, she wrote in her post on Reddit's r/JUSTNOMIL forum. Recently, an incident happened that was so strange she needed a little advice on how to handle it.
“This past Saturday my MIL and SIL kept our 5-month-old daughter so we could go on a date,” she wrote in her post.
No big deal, right? Well, not exactly.
The date lasted about four hours, and when the pair returned home, her MIL told them their daughter had been “fussy” — most likely because she was teething.
Her daughter wasn’t the only one who might’ve been cranky.
“As my husband approached to pick up our daughter his Mom said, ‘Here take your bitch of a daughter,’” the OP recalled. “That shocked me to be honest.”
Admittedly, the OP’s MIL and sister-in-law can be “crude” — “but to call your 5-month-old granddaughter a bitch crosses a major line for me and makes me question her safety while she's there. She's not been back,” the OP wrote.
“Am I overreacting?” she asked.
Most people thought her MIL should have never dropped the b-bomb.
"Grandmother of five here, I would NEVER EVER call any child a bitch especially my own grandchild," one person wrote. "I’m so sorry you're being treated this way."
"Absolutely NOT over reacting," another person added. "That's absolutely insane to say about a 5-month-old baby. WTF! Keep your child and future children far away from those people."
"This should be the absolute last time they are ever left alone with ANY of your children," another commenter suggested.
On the other hand, a few people thought this might have been a joke that just didn't connect.
"You were there … was it a misguided attempt to be funny?" one commenter asked. "You can talk straightforwardly with her and tell her that calling your infant a bitch is never funny, so please don't do it again. If she tries to say it was funny, tell her that bitchiness commonly skips a generation, and see if she laughs."
"I would be so upset as well. Vulgar language, in general, typically bothers me (especially around children)," another commenter admitted. "That being said, it is normal for some people and they see nothing wrong with it. If you don’t feel there was anything more behind her saying that … I would have your husband express your concerns to his mother. If it happens again, I would really limit any time my child spends around a person like that."
"You would never say something like that about your child. Some people have a sense of humor that is much more coarse," a third commenter explained, adding this:
“My new wife and I both have a sense of humor that is much coarser than many people. We have called each other names that some people would make some people aghast. It was always meant in complete jest which was obvious by both the context and tone. So, my advice is to look at the tone and context as well as the words. MIL probably thinks baby isn’t old enough to know what is being said so she did not engage her filter. Or, MIL doesn’t have a filter and will use foul language in front of your daughter as she grows.”
Sadly, this seems to be part of her MIL's whole deal.
Later in the thread, the OP shared that her MIL and SIL pretty much had nothing to do with her daughter "from the moment she was born."
"They aren't exceptionally warm people in general and have called my husband pretty harsh names in past … especially for his parents," the OP continued.
In the end, it appears the OP might need to figure out other babysitting plans.
"My husband said he didn't hear his Mom refer to our daughter as a bitch but does say he no longer trusts them to watch her," the OP wrote.
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