When it came time to register for my baby shower, I couldn't believe the massive amount of STUFF that was out on the market for babies. Diamond-encrusted pacifiers? Silk sheets? For babies?
The baby commerce trap is wide and just waiting to swallow you whole, all in the name of making sure your baby has the BEST childhood ever.
Sadly, I'm not just talking about the internal debate over whether your baby really needs a warm glow cast on her wipes before they touch her delicate behind (she doesn't). At least your standard wipes warmer won't cost you your firstborn. A hand-crafted Italian leather diaper bag, on the other hand, will set you back more than $1,000 for something your kid will ultimately puke on.
Think that's nuts? That's nothing compared to a $17,000 pacifier! And I'm just getting started.
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The luxury baby market is chock-a-block with baby products with prices so high you'll be choking harder than a baby who just had her first taste of pureed prunes.
Check out these over-the-top prices for baby products that would make even Bill Gates raise an eyebrow.
Would you buy anything on this list?
Image via Luxury Lamb
Gucci Brown Star Print Baby Changing Bag With Laptop Pocket
Got a spare $1,279.92? Then you too can have a bag "luxuriously made in Italy" to stow spitty pacifiers and leaky bottles.
Augustine Baby Bedding
You might see the $862 price tag for crib bedding and assume that includes the crib, but you'd be wrong … at least when it comes to the Augustine baby bedding set. That just covers the crib sheet, bumper, and bed skirt. And just one of each at that. But hey, when they're made of Duponi silk, at least baby's blowing out their diaper on something soft!
Aston Martin Stroller
Your best friend's hand-me-down stroller might be in great shape, but if you're raising the future James Bond, only a pram with wheels modeled after the signature tires on Aston Martin’s $1.7 million One-77 car will do! Just be prepared to pony up 2,000 British pounds … or $3,115 (according to the current exchange rate).
Deluxe Infant Stimucenter
Got $3,068.99? Not after you buy the stimucenter listed as the perfect "safe haven for newborns through 5 mos." Yes, that's right, you get 5 whole months of use in this playard. That's $613 a month! What a steal!
AFK Cherubini Crib -- Silver & Gold Gilding
Who needs a crib that converts to a toddler bed and then later to a big kid bed when you can get this $4,400 beauty with "appliqued cherub mouldings and beautiful caning" that will only hold a baby?
Diamond Pacifier
Diamonds are a girl's best friend, even if she's hurling $17,000 worth of them out of the stroller, right?
Dolce & Gabbana Baby Bottle Feeding Set
One bottle plus one bottle holder plus one pacifier plus one pacifier holder = $80 when you're rocking the Dolce & Gabbana label. Something tells me you don't let that bottle get warped in the dishwasher.
Matilda Curtain Panel Set
A little girl's ballerina bedroom simply isn't complete without $686 nursery curtains to protect her precious little eyes from the sun.
Nautical Highchair
No eating strained peas in some easily-wiped-down plastic contraption for your baby, no sirree. They absolutely need this hand-crafted wooden beauty with gold gilding for $1,238.00. Don't they?
Onda Luxy Bubbles
No screaming in the sink for your baby. The Onda Luxy Bubbles has nozzles that produce air bubbles — just like a whirlpool! The Italian-made bath only sets Mom back 2,300 Euros (that's $3038.53).
