With Father's Day around the corner, it's time to pick out a card expressing your gratitude for all dads do. But whether you're shopping for just the right card for your father or partner or hitting the shelves with your kids, beware.
It seems not all Father's Day cards are equal. A fair share offer a passive-aggressive guilt trip or outright insult for pops. Dads may not be perfect (hey, neither are moms for that matter) but you might want to steer clear of these Father's Day cards — because if you can't say anything nice, why say anything at all?
Honestly now, what dad would even think about doing #5?
Image via QuinntessentialCo/Etsy
Fine Until He Reads the Fine Print
Let's get real: most men are beer-swilling, bum-scratching loafs, and they know it. But that doesn't mean you should use this particular day to remind him. Save it for another 24 hours, OK?
So Ghetto
Even if mom and dad aren't married or even together, a "baby daddy" greeting card seems a little weird. After all, he is still the dad 100 percent, so this just seems to pave the way toward some baby daddy mama drama, doncha think?
More from The Stir: 8 Father's Day Cards That Tell It Like It REALLY Is
Don't Play With Mom's Bras
This is just weird: What man past the age of 17 gets the urge to paw around mom's panty drawer?
DILF?
Granted, a guy might take this card as a compliment — or better yet a come-on — but it's bound to prompt some awkward questions from the kids.
I Swear...
Sorry, but swearing just seems wrong here. This is supposed to be a kid-friendly holiday, after all.
More from The Stir: 4 Homemade Father's Day Card Ideas for Grownup Kids
Drink Up!
In this case "pissed" means drunk. We think. Either way, not the classiest of cards.
For the Dad Who's Never Around
Fine, so dad avoids his kids like the plague. So why send him a card at all? Clearly this won't bring him home.
More from The Stir: 10 Fabulous Father's Day Gifts Kids Can Make Themselves
Mission Almost Aborted
Any card from a dad's daughter should not reference: a) sex, or b) withdrawal, c) any suggestion that said daughter might have been an accident.
Diaper Duty
Because no guy likes to envision the day he's wearing Depends.
More from The Stir: 10 Quotes for Father's Day That Will Make Him LOL
Chauffeur Service
Of all the things a kid could thank a dad for, we doubt this is one he's most proud of.
For the Undesirable Dad
So dad was inept with the ladies, huh? We doubt he wants a reminder.
Hello, Who?
Poking fun at pop's baldness is akin to joking about a woman's weight: Just don't go there.
Double Insult
Hi Dad, you raised a spoiled brat. Happy Father's Day.
More from The Stir: What 10 Popular Father's Day Gifts Really Say to Dads
