When Mandi Castle first read a popular essay called "The Reason My Daughter May Punch Your Son," her little girl was only in kindergarten. She liked this fellow mom's perspective on teaching her tween to stand up for her body and even punch someone "in the throat" if he thought it was funny to snap her bra strap. But essay writer Ashley Fuchs's little girl was 12, and Mandi's wasn't even in elementary school yet, so although Mandi appreciated her message, she thought she had plenty of time before having to worry about these types of situations with her own daughter. Unfortunately, she was wrong.
Just a year later, her girl came home from first grade saying the dreaded words: "Mom, I got bullied today." Skeptical at first over whether or not her little one was using a serious word to exaggerate a situation, Mandi asked her to explain what happened. It turns out she wasn't being dramatic.
“She went on to say that some boys were hitting her butt on the playground, and when she told them to stop, they called her chubby and laughed at her," Mandi wrote in a blog post entitled "Why I Told My Daughter to Kick Your Son in the Balls." She continued: "That's right. Two boys put their hands on my daughter, and when she told them to stop, they called her fat and made fun of her. Let that sink in for a second."
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Mandi admits that rage boiled inside her as she asked what happened next. Her daughter said that she told the teacher, and the teacher told the boys to stop, but they didn't. "She showed me on my own butt what they were doing, and it can only be described as groping, but she didn't understand that. BECAUSE SHE IS SIX!" she wrote. "We discussed how inappropriate and unacceptable it was/is, and I commended her for doing the right thing by telling the teacher."
Still upset over the situation, Mandi's child put her head down and said, "Tomorrow, I'm just going to hide at recess." There was no way Mandi was going to let that happen, and instead, she decided to teach her daughter from a young age to never accept or hide from this kind of behavior.
"I said, 'NO. You will not let two boys ruin your free time. You will not allow them to take your fun away. They are breaking the rules. If they do that tomorrow, you say, "Keep your hands off of me." If they do not stop, you tell the teacher. If they continue to bother you, you turn around and step on their feet, or kick them in the shins or their business, and if you get in trouble, go ahead and tell your teacher to give me a call.' I explained that she might end up in the principal's office and that we would deal with it if we had to, but I made sure she knew that she was empowered to defend herself."
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Mandi wants other parents to realize that boys are learning from the examples around them that it's acceptable to call a girl fat or ugly if she says no to something. "This is learned behavior. Your job as a mother and as a father is to make sure your sons (and daughters) know better," she wrote. "Parents, teach your sons (and daughters) that they are not entitled to touch anyone anywhere, that my daughter's back side is not for their hands, that if they do put their hands on (MY) child, they will not get away with it because she will defend herself the best way she can."
Mandi's daughter might only be 6 years old, but she's certainly strong, and if she ends up in the principal's office for standing up against rape culture, her mom won't be mad — she'll be proud to get that call.
