New parents quickly learn that not everyone will give them space or at least respect their decisions. However, when the shaming and judgements come from the place you'd least expect it — your own family — this crosses a line that no new parent should ever have to endure. One mom learned this the hard way when her own mother refused to support her decision to breastfeed without a cover and ended up kicking her daughter and grandkids out of her home over it.
The anonymous mom explained that she took her kids over to her mother's house for a visit and while they were having lunch in the kitchen, her 3-week-old daughter got hungry. Her newborn is exclusively breastfed, and this mom shared with Breastfeeding Mama Talk's Facebook page what happened when she went to feed her. "I took her in the living room, got her to latch and sat back down at the table to finish my meal while it was still warm. My mom didn't say anything at first but when my stepdad came in from mowing the lawn, she threw me a dirty look and asked me to get my blanket and cover her," she wrote. "When I politely declined, she told me it was her house and she wanted me to cover up."
The mom explained to her mother that her baby doesn't like having anything covering her head and face when she's trying to eat, but that reasoning wasn't enough for Grandma to back off. "I told her my daughter gets sweaty and uncomfortable under the blanket and if it was that much of an issue that I wasn't going to do that to her, we would leave, and she said fine, leave," she wrote. "So I started to get my kids ready to go and she said, 'You're really going to leave because you're in MY house and I want you to cover up? I don't care how you nurse in your own home, but at my house you need to cover up. No one wants to see that.'"
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Instead of letting her mother get away with shaming her in front of her other children for breastfeeding her newborn, this woman stood her ground. "I told her yes and she made me look like the bad guy to my older two children by telling them I was leaving because I was mad at her and she was sorry they couldn't stay to watch the end of the movie she just put on for them," she wrote.
After Grandma involved the kids, Mom snapped a photo to capture what it looked like while she fed her daughter that was causing her mom such distress. She decided to share the snapshot as well as her story as proof that even moms who have no visible skin exposed still get harassed for breastfeeding and that there are haters everywhere — even potentially in your family's home.
Many people online are shocked at Grandma's behavior and sending their support to this mama.
However, there are others who see Grandma's side.
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For those who think it's Grandma's house and so Mom was in the wrong for trying to go against her feelings, Heather from Breastfeeding Mama Talk fiercely came to the mama's defense in the comments:
"WE KNOW it's Grandma's house. She can feel how she wants, as sad as it is she can’t support her own daughter. But it was uncalled for to shame her in front of her children, bringing them into the situation unnecessarily. She's upset because there was an ultimatum and this mama chose to do what was best for her and her baby at the time. She chose to leave, which IS the compromise to this situation. She wasn't disrespectful, she CHOSE TO LEAVE to feed her child comfortably when she was told she couldn't nurse here. And, by definition she's covered in this picture. Baby's head may not be, BUT SHE IS.
"Her mother used her stepfather, who didn't care, as an excuse, mama made her choice, and bc granny didn't like the choice and didn't get her way, she shamed her in front of her children — who, by the way, knew their baby sibling got hot under a cover.
"So yes. It is grandma's house. No one is refuting that. But ultimately, she chose what was best for her baby, making the only choice she could in the moment. Granny can either accept that and get on with life, or learn to support her daughter since she's the only one who made a scene here."
No matter what, women -- and especially families -- should support each other regardless of how a mom decides to feed her baby.
