
When we were kids, parents in their 30s seemed like bona fide grown ups — moms and dads we could turn to who could handle anything and who would always have all the answers. (Also, old—sad, but we thought it!) Well, time flies when you're busy changing diapers, because now we're the moms in our 30s. Now that we're here, we know that being a mom in your 30s definitely isn't as calm and comfortable as it looked when we were kids. Does geriatric pregnancy send shivers down anyone else's spine?
While parenting in this decade may not be as chaotic as it was in our 20s, it's a balance. The struggle, and judgment, is still real, even if we are old enough to remember when Titanic was in theaters. Here are just a few of the struggles, and strengths, from aching joints to adult acne (but also that 30s self-confidence) that only moms in their 30s will understand.
1. All of our favorite songs are on the oldies station.
You don't recognize half of the people performing at the Grammys and miss the dearly departed version of Taylor Swift. And since when did the Backstreet Boys become "easy listening"? Gosh and then there's that song about being a lady in the '90s. We can't imagine how far away our kids think that decade must be.
2. Getting carded is cause for celebration.
Please don't say that you have to ask everyone for their ID. Just let us have this moment and allow us to believe that we still look 19 years old and you're skeptical that our ID is a fake and you might just kick us out of line because of it. Seriously, ask me if I know my address by heart. No? We can go right in? OK.
3. Those favorite childhood toys are more popular than ever — but they're terrible now.
My Little Ponies are everywhere and the Easy-Bake Oven is still a thing, but the new versions just aren't as cool as the ones you remember growing up. Time to drag that box of old toys out of the attic and be a hero in your kids' eyes. On the bright side, at least now that you're a grown-up you actually have the ability to buy the entire American Girl catalog.
4. We have no idea where to shop for clothes.
Just walking into grown-up stores like J.Jill makes you feel like an unsupervised child who needs her mom, and whoever came up with the name Forever 21 is a liar. Seriously, why can't they make a Forever 35? This is why leggings rule. They're universal and chances are they're available at your local Target.
5. Most social events include energetic preschoolers and goodie bags.
You make plans with the other moms, and then have to cancel when one of your kids gets sick. Or you and your partner plan a much-needed date night, only to have the sitter text you last minute to say she forgot she has a basketball game. Let's face it, "going out" these days means the party doesn't get started until at least 10 … 10 a.m. that is.
6. Hello, random aches and pains.
You used to be able to do a full workout at the gym without feeling it the next day, but once your body has seen three decades, it's like a magic switch is flipped. Suddenly, bending over to change a diaper, carrying the baby for too long, or sleeping in the wrong position is enough to make you wake up wanting the heating pad. Now we know why our own parents all had memberships to Costco — so they could buy Advil in bulk.
7. We worry about pimples and wrinkles at the same time.
One of the most prolific lies ever told about acne is that it's a teenage problem. Why did no one warn us in our early 20s that women can get adult acne as they age? The fact that 30-something moms have to worry about wrinkles and acne as grown women with kids should be a crime. Give us all the creams and serums, please.
8. We have zero bladder control.
Is it because having kids destroyed our bladders? Is it because we're drinking our weight in coffee to counteract the sleep deprivation? Is it a strange biological thing that happens when your own kids are potty training that you have to go as often as they do? Who knows, just tell me where the restroom is please, because I can't hold it much longer.
9. Our kids' favorite foods might turn against us.
Sure, the kids might love Spaghettios and Taco Tuesday, but after years of a committed relationship with junk food, your 30s might find you regretting that third taco in the middle of the night. You don't want to make two dinners, but what's a mom to do when the kids won't eat salad, and cheese pizza gives you heartburn? At least we can watch our kids eat the good stuff.
10. Sick days get used up for kids' illnesses.
Sick days, if you're lucky enough to have them, weren't hard to come by in your 20s. Now in your 30s with a kid, or kids, during a worldwide health crisis, they are much more valuable, and get used up much faster. Kid is sick because of another kid at day care — boom! — there's a day or two gone. Stay healthy!
11. Being taunted by what doctors call a "geriatric pregnancy."
That is not a typo, young moms. Having a child at age 35 and up is medically referred to as a geriatric (read: old) pregnancy. What? Moms in their 30s know this term and are both terrified and annoyed by it. Since when is having a child at 35 old? Most of us still feel like we're 18 years old.
12. We don't have it in us to go out after work, even if a sitter is available.
Listen, moms needs their "me" time and parents deserve to go out and have fun, whether it's with each other for a date night, for a wedding, or for a night out with friends. It's just a lot harder to swing it now. Your bedtime is shortly after the kids' go to sleep so if you do make it out, you're not staying too long.
13. We care so much less about what a judgy parent has to say.
A perk of being a mom in her 30s is that her parenting comes with the wisdom and self-confidence that it took most if not all of her 20s to acquire. That can be transferred to her parenting, which, if judged, she can promptly flip her metaphorical middle fingers up at. You do you, we'll do us. This method was likely put to the test when everyone asked during their 20s why you didn't have kids yet.
14. We are thrilled at the idea of having mom friends.
Keeping up with a friend group, or friends in general, is super tough as people age. It's about quality, not quantity, but things can get lonely in adulthood aside from one's partner. Being a 30-something mom is a new chance to connect with people who are in a similar phase of life and won't roll their eyes when you talk about the sleep training schedule you adopted.
15. We may feel we know as much as the scientists about IVF, egg freezing, and genetic testing.
Being a mom in your 30s means that along with moving a little slower, doctors may be concerned about your fertility if you want to expand your family. Struggling to conceive is a thing and if moms in their 30s are dealing with this, they will basically become reproductive experts overnight, learning about things such as egg freezing or the IVF process.
16. Makeup is for special occasions.
Makeup? Never heard of her. OK, we have but it was a long time ago. It's hard getting ourselves put together with a babe or two in tow, and many mamas in their 30s have long learned to feel good in their skin without it. As one mama in her 30s said, "You couldn't give a f— if you are wearing makeup to drop your kid off at day care as long as you make it on time."
17. We walk the line between "cool" mom and uncool mom.
It's hard to feel put together while taking care of kids, but moms in their 30s might be wary of taking the Gen-Z style of the grungy look while also not wanting to dress like their Boomer moms and grandmothers. So how does a mom in her 30s do her hair so it doesn't scream, "I'm a 30-something mom stuck in the 90s or early 00s!" We're still figuring that out.
18. We do insane math to figure out when to have another kid.
Remember that geriatric pregnancy thing we talked about? Yes, this is another way it rears its ugly head with moms in their 30s: feeling "rushed" to have kids before a certain age or have shorter gaps in between kids. Another mom explains, "I cannot pace my kids the way I planned when I was growing up."
19. Brunch just hits a little different.
Sure, you can still take baby to brunch like you did in your 20s, because 30-somethings love to brunch, and maybe even have a mimosa or two, but in between bites of that Instagramable French toast, you'll have to fetch a thrown fork from the floor or step aside to soothe a cranky toddler who needs a nap.
20. Younger moms will ask for parenting advice.
Wait, we're the grown-ups in the room now? Don't freak younger moms out by cluing them in to the fact that even though you're older, you're also parenting by the seat of your pants. Instead, admire their excellent taste, and know you're clearly rocking being a mom in her 30s. Age is nothin' but a number.