TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains images and information about stillbirth and infant loss, which may be triggering to some.
Losing a child is one of the most painful things a person can go through. Unfortunately, it's also one of the loneliest. Too often, parents suffer losses and don't have the opportunity to talk about it because it's too painful or uncomfortable for the people around them. But after one precious baby boy was stillborn, his mom made the difficult decision to speak out about her unimaginable grief and share photos of his birth. Now, she's fending off haters and trolls who are trying to shame her for being open about her loss.
When Yasmine Indiaa's son was stillborn in March, the heartbroken mom shared her pain on social media.
On Instagram, she wrote that her son died just two days before his due date, and she posted photos of herself holding her newborn with tears in her eyes. "Meet Jeremiah Kai Hillman," she captioned one photo. "Mommy Was So Ready Too Spoil And Raise You! God Had Other Plans For You My King. I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH."
She also explained that her son died from a condition called gastroschisis, a rare birth defect that causes the intestines and sometimes other organs, such as the liver, to develop outside of an infant's body. While babies diagnosed with the condition can receive treatment after birth, the Children's Hospital of Wisconsin notes that around 10 percent of all babies with the condition are stillborn.
In the days and weeks that followed her son's passing, Indiaa continued to share photos and heartfelt posts about her baby.
She posted photos from his funeral, and wrote follow-up posts about how much she missed him. A GoFundMe page was even created by her son's godmother to help with expenses from the funeral services and her hospital stay, and her concerned followers contributed over $7,000.
But along with the outpouring of support from followers and friends came something that was much less welcome:
People started calling Indiaa out for sharing "inappropriate" photos of her boy and accusing her of "seeking attention."
Others told her that sharing photos of her son could be "absolutely horrifying" to people who stumble upon them without warning.
In a follow-up post, the mom wrote that she knows her photos are difficult to see -- and that's why she's sharing them.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, stillbirth occurs in about 1 percent of all pregnancies, which translates to as many as 24,000 babies each year. That's 24,000 sets of parents and grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and other loved ones who are all forced to grapple with the loss of a child, and many of them do it in silence.
A lot of grieving parents don't share their stories and their experiences because it's too difficult, or because they don't want to offend or worry other people, or because they're afraid of being shamed and blamed like this mom was. But posting stories and photos about the baby they've lost can be an important way for parents to honor their child's life. It's not uncommon for parents these days to hire photographers to capture their stillborn or dying babies — or to share those images online. In 2017, parents Royce and Keri Young even went viral after they shared photos of their final moments with their daughter, who was born with a fatal condition called anencephaly, before she passed away shortly after delivery.
Photos and posts like the ones by this mom aren't easy to see, and they certainly aren't easy for parents to share.
But it's important to remember that no two people grieve in the same way, and parents who take the difficult step of sharing their pain with the world deserve all the support we can give them.
