Pregnancy should be a time of joy for couples as they nest and prepare for baby. But for one mom in Oahu, Hawaii, her second pregnancy came at a time of terrible tragedy for her family. Stephanie Maynetto-Jackson had to learn the horrible news that her husband had been fatally hit in a motorcycle accident during her second trimester.
At just 20 weeks pregnant, Stephanie had to say goodbye to the love of her life, her "twin flame."
As first reported on Love What Matters, Stephanie Maynetto-Jackson said that her husband's funeral was the hardest day she has ever lived.
"At only 28 years old, I was now a pregnant widow with an almost 2-year-old son, and an almost 6-year-old stepson I feared I might not get to see again," she explained. As often happens with blended families, there was tension between Stephanie and Stuart's family. We were treated like outsiders," she explained. "It was torture, but I was there to tell our story and ensure that he was honored for not only the soldier he was, but the husband, father, and man he was."
But Stephanie held strong. "No matter what was said or done, I had to be the woman Stuart married," she said.
Stephanie's dam of emotion held until she, 2-year-old Dominic, and her stepson Maliq walked up to Stuart's casket to say their goodbyes. "I knew the entire church of 400+ attendees were watching us," Stephanie described.
"My heart shattered as I heard Dominic saying his goodbyes," Stephanie added. "I gave Stuart one final kiss, and as much as I wanted to pretend like this wasn’t happening, that this was just a nightmare, that I would wake up soon, I heard all of our family and friends begin to cry louder, sighing in disbelief, which reminded me once again I truly was living this nightmare."
Stuart's death would plant a seed of anger in Stephanie. One that would blossom when she finally gave birth to their second son.
"Some people go a lifetime without meeting their soulmate, I met mine at 23," she said.
Their love story began like any other. Stuart and Stephanie were a bit shy of each other and Stephanie described their courtship as being "old fashioned." "I waited for him to make the first move," she said.
Stuart finally made his move months after the two had met, "[and] when I say he made a move I mean he finally had a full conversation with me other than just a quick hello and goodbye," Stephanie joked.
The two fell into an immediate and fast friendship, which then quickly blossomed into love. "He always told me it was love at first sight for him because the moment he laid eyes on me he knew I was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with," she added.
The couple was married during an intimate ceremony on September 27, 2013.
The pair swapped vows during a courthouse ceremony and planned the rest of their lives together. "We spoke about our fiftieth anniversary and how we would celebrate because we just knew that life together is what we wanted," she recalled. "We knew from the moment we met, this was it for us, we were meant to be. We were going to build a home together, build a family together, and grow old together. We were supposed to watch sunsets and sunrises together as we traveled the world."
Both Stephanie and Stuart were in the military, and only a few months after their wedding, both were deployed to Jordan and Iraq for nine-month rotations. After their duty ended, they were stationed in Hawaii.
When Stephanie found out she was pregnant with her first child, both she and Stuart were overjoyed
Stuart already had one son, Mailq, but was equally excited for fatherhood the second time around. "He was at every single doctors visit and didn’t leave my side during his birth," Stephanie said.
Though Stephanie had a moment of crises during her delivery (her son Dominic had to be admitted into the NICU and she had started to bleed out), the new mom recovered and life began anew for the family.
"From the moment Dominic was born, Stuart adored him," Stephanie recalled.
Stuart was proud to have a son who was his mini-me. "The first thing he told my parents who were in the waiting room was how excited he was that he had a dimple just like him," Stephanie said. And for the next two years, the young family lived in the joyous bubble that comes with new parenthood.
"Dominic was not only a bright soul that made our lives complete, but he brought so much joy to the lives of all those around us," Stephanie explained.
Happy with their growing brood, the couple decided to try for a second child, though this time things didn't happen as quickly. It took them months but they were ecstatic when they learned that Stephanie was finally pregnant.
But in the midst of all this joy, Stephanie's world came tumbling down when a motorcycle accident destroyed her family.
On the night of December 14, 2017, Stephanie received a devastating phone call. Stuart had been hit in a motorcycle accident and sustained life-threatening injuries. She was told to rush to the hospital immediately.
A friend drove her to the hospital, and Stephanie said that she didn't even wait for the car to stop when she leapt from its doors and burst through the front doors of the hospital. She rushed in and the doctor immediately gave her the devastating news: Stuart was gone.
Heartbroken, Stephanie was overwhelmed with grief. "I screamed, I yelled, I dropped down to the floor because I simply could not believe what this woman was telling me," she said.
"As I told both of our mothers he had passed, both yelled so loudly. It was an unbelievable shriek I will never forget because it sounded just like mine. I knew at that moment if we let it, this pain would be too unbearable," she added. Confused and in shock, Stephanie blurted out to friends in the hospital's waiting room that she was pregnant, something so new that only Stuart knew.
Stephanie chose strength as her solace; the couple had only been two weeks away from announcing her pregnancy and she had to face that she would be handling her pregnancy alone this time.
On the day of Stuart II's brith, Stephanie felt more alone than ever. "I went through every emotion possible," she said.
Stuart II was born in May, just five short months after his father's death. "As much support as I had there with me, I felt alone," she recalled. "I was alone in this journey because the man I had committed to bringing another life into this world with was no longer by my side. He had been taken from me and the anger started to consume me."
"For months I focused on keeping my emotions controlled to prevent anything from happening to our blessing, but that day was the day I finally let it all out. As each contraction became stronger than the last, I closed my eyes to deal with the pain but all I saw was Stuart’s face. I wanted to cry, but I had to be strong," she said.
Stephanie's rage was blinding throughout her pregnancy. Stuart was supposed to be there, she felt.
Though she didn't want to bring her son into the world in anger, Stephanie couldn't control her rage about being alone during his birth. "In those moments I kept yelling at [Stuart], telling him how he was supposed to be there to hold my hand," she remembered. Eventually, Stephanie requested an epidural to not just ease her labor pains but also to extinguish the "emotional anguish" she was feeling.
The only bright spot in Stephanie's world was her older son, Dominic. He had come to the hospital in tiny, blue scrubs with the words "Big Brother" embossed on the chest.
Friends and family gathered around Stephanie as she worked hard to push Stuart II earthside.
Stephanie admits that though she felt supported by her loved ones who were by her side, she still felt the empty hole where Stuart was missing. "As I pushed baby Stuart out I closed my eyes one more time, and there [big Stuart] was. At that moment I realized Stuart was with us all along," she explained.
"He may have not held my leg up this time, held my hand, or even kissed me, but he was there in my heart welcoming our son into this world," she said.
And although Stuart II did not have his father in the room to make that crucial catch, he did steal the heart of his older brother.
The love that Stephanie saw from her older son to his brother softened the anger in her heart. "Dominic stole the show that day," Stephanie remembered. "He refused to leave his baby brother’s side and even grabbed his medical bag, taking out his stethoscope to check on his little brother."
Stephanie said that the birth of her second son was a turning point for their family because "it was a reminder we could all do this together," she said.
"Our family has forever changed but each day I remind our sons that their daddy loves them."
Stephanie explained that the day Stuart died, it not only had changed her life but her son's as well. Dominic had a hard time dealing with the loss of his father and would ask for him in the middle of the night or would scream for "Da Da" in the middle of a tantrum. "This is something that we will always have to live with," Stephanie explained.
"He asks me if he can fly with daddy in the sky [in heaven]," Stephanie said, "I let him know that a very long, long, long time from now he will be able to fly with his daddy."
Stephanie has made a vow to Stuart Sr. and herself that she will keep the memory of her husband alive for her sons. She wants all three of them to know who their father was and to know that he loved them.
"I am selfish because I need him, our children need him, and nothing will ever make this seem fair, but we cannot dwell on that."
Stephanie explained that though she feels selfish for being so angry at Stuart's death "we need to focus on celebrating his life because we know this will not get any easier," she said. "We adored each other, and our longest-running argument was about who said I love you first. I truly believe he is my twin flame and we will meet again, but until then, he will continue to watch over us."
Stephanie ends her story with on a sorrow-filled note of hope and this important token that has helped her keep her faith: "‘Death takes the body. God takes the soul. Our mind holds the memories. Our heart keeps the love. Our faith lets us know we will meet again.’"
"I loved him then, I love him now, and I will always love him," she said.
