On Rebecca Boyer's first day back to work after maternity leave, this new mom from Tennessee was incredibly nervous. In order to help deal with the mama guilt and anxiety, she asked her husband, David, to check in frequently with updates on how he was doing alone with their 3-month-old baby, William. Although Rebecca worried that she might come across as a nagging wife, she spoke up when David made a common mistake, and it's this simple text message that ended up potentially saving William's life.
David sent Rebecca a photo of William and she immediately spotted a red flag.
"I demanded that my husband send me hourly updates and recaps on how baby William was handling his first day away from mommy. This afternoon around 2:15, I got a text from my hubby during their trip to Walgreens," she shared on Facebook. "My nagging wife reply was to correct William’s position in the car seat — the straps were too loose and the chest clip was way too low."
Rebecca, who is a pediatric nurse at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital doesn't play around with car seat safety and admits that she comes across as an overprotective mom — but that doesn't stop her. "Because I know my husband, I’m sure that he laughed at me and rolled his eyes before tightening the car seat and fixing the chest clip," she wrote.
Just 15 minutes later, David called: He and the baby were just in a car accident and their car was totaled.
David explained that when he and William were less than three miles away from home, a car pulled into oncoming traffic to try to make a quick left turn. Without any time to stop, he ended up slamming on the brakes at nearly 50 miles an hour before colliding with the front passenger side door of her SUV.
"My precious little bundle of joy was so well restrained in his car seat, THAT HE DIDN’T EVEN WAKE UP," Rebecca wrote. "Even with the impact of the two cars, William only received a minor jolt — so insignificant that he was able to continue on with his nap, and then spend the next two hours flirting with nurses in the Le Bonheur Emergency Department."
William made it out without a scratch but the same couldn't be said for his dad.
"My husband didn’t fare quite as well — his foot is broken in three places, has three dislocated toes, and we go back to the doctor Monday to make sure that he doesn’t need surgery," she says. "The car is a loss, but cars can be replaced — my boys can't."
That is why it's so important to Rebecca that parents realize little ones should be rear-facing until at least 2 years old, snuggly secured in a five-point harness that has a car seat base that doesn't move more than an inch in any direction.
"I am so thankful that my husband took the extra one minute that was necessary to put William in his car seat safely. I can’t even begin to imagine how different the outcome could have been," she wrote. "I truly believe that the reason my family is at home sitting on the couch with a pair of crutches instead of down at the hospital is because of my annoying nagging mom voice."
Rebecca praises Britax for keeping her baby safe but also wants people to know that the car seat is officially trash.
"Do y’all know what happens now to the beautiful 3-month-old car seat that protected my little monkey man? It goes STRAIGHT IN THE TRASH ," she wrote. "According to the NHTSA (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration) my expensive, barely broken in car seat is now garbage. Any car seat that has been involved in a moderate to severe motor vehicle incident where the car cannot be driven away from the scene of the crash immediately becomes defective."
But when these grateful parents realized that they would need to replace their new car seat, David's first reaction was that they would be buying the "same damn car seat because that thing did his job.”
"I am more than happy to shell out another $200 to Britax for protecting my baby," she added.
And as Rebecca thanks both God and Britax for keeping her boys safe, she also has another person she's incredibly grateful for. "Most of all thanking my husband — who has finally proven that yes indeed he is actually listening when I nag him!" she wrote.
Another important tip: What you put on the car seat and do with it when you're done is just as important.
As her post went viral, Rebecca decided to add a few other crucial car seat safety tips to hopefully save any child's life.
"Those cute little car seat strap cushions that seem so necessary to protect your baby’s sensitive skin from being rubbed by the strap? DEADLY! Any aftermarket item added to your seat can compromise the safety of your child," she wrote.
"Adding padding to the straps in an effort to make your child more comfortable will enable your little one to slide out from underneath the security of the harness and can cause them to be ejected from the seat and prevents the harness from compressing completely in the event of a crash … You should never attach anything to your car seat that isn’t specifically made by the manufacturer. So when registering or buying a gift for your favorite preggo – skip the strap softeners!"
Rebecca also explained how parents should get rid of a car seat after an accident if they ever find themselves in the same situation. "It can be recycled. BUT — before you stick that thing out on the curb with your bottles and cans, make sure to go HAM on it with a knife and pair of scissors!" she wrote. "Cut out the straps, remove the fabric, spray paint it with the word defective, and then drop an anvil on it for good measure. People will actually scoop your defective car seat up off of the side of the road and attempt to resell it in an effort to make a quick buck! By removing the straps and the padding you make it impossible for someone else to come along and unknowingly put their bundle of joy in a seat that could compromise their baby’s safety."
Lastly, Rebecca wants to inspire people to say something if they see something, every time.
Rebecca tells CafeMom that she's been in situations where she's noticed a child incorrectly buckled into his or her car seat and struggled with whether or not to tell the parent. "It’s so difficult because you don’t want to offend them or be rude. I think the goal is in the approach — when you walk up to someone and say 'Hey! That’s wrong!' they are never going to be receptive to what you have to say, even if it is valuable information that could protect heir child," she says.
Instead of jumping right to it, she recommends striking up a conversation first but don't remain silent.
"Ask them about their baby, give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they don’t know everything about the car seat, and once you have established a rapport you can slip in something like, 'I noticed that the chest clip is a little low, I used to do the same thing, but then I learned it has to be under my kiddos armpits. Do you mind if I help you fix it?'" she says. "And you may get told to mind your own business, but nine times out of ten, I bet you a new parent would want to know information that could protect their baby, as long as you’re not acting holier than thou."
