It doesn't take too much scrolling through Instagram to leave you feeling wildly insecure about a whole host of things. Not having a Joanna Gaines-inspired home. Not having endless amounts of cash to charter a private jet. And perhaps the most common Instagram-induced insecurity of all: not having the perfect postpartum body that bounces back in no time and looks fresh to death in a bikini two weeks after giving birth. Yet amid the sea of perfection-seeking influencers, there are plenty of others who give it to you straight. One such person is Kristyn Dingman of @mrsdingman.mama, whose body-positive Instagram page was just taken to new heights after she fired back at online trolls who called her body "nasty."
Dingman has been sharing body-positive messages with her followers since September 2018, and she has urged other women to practice self-love.
"One of the biggest ways I stay motivated is by a constant stream of inspiration flowing my way," the Arizona mom of one wrote in a recent post. "I find my best inspiration from other women who are on a similar mission toward self love and happiness."
It's for this reason she's fallen in love with blogging, as well as chatting with other women who "share a similar goal of empowerment toward changing societies [sic] vision of beauty." This is what constantly drives her, she says, to build her self-esteem, always think positively, and "to inspire others who may be struggling."
That is why it can't help but sting any time Dingman receives a negative comment from an online troll — despite that being pretty much par for the course when you share your life on social media.
"I don't think the impact of a rude comment or message will ever be easy to shake off," Dingman tells CafeMom.
But even if it does sting, Dingman clearly isn't letting it hold her back.
"I have bad days when I feel down about myself and the comments don't help," she tells CafeMom. "I am human and will have good and bad days, but I always try to remember that I not only need to empower others … I need to practice what I preach and know that I am worthy regardless of the thing that may be said about me."
Above all, Dingman says she chooses to "fight negativity with positivity" instead of letting hurtful words eat away at her.
"I’ve found that my positive mindset and body confidence scares some people," she writes in another post. "It’s hard to believe that a women like me; who has cellulite, stretch marks, curves, pimples, and other characteristics can see herself as beautiful. But it’s possible and true!"
Spreading negative comments, she says, is "like oxygen" to certain people. But "one of the most powerful things we can do in response to negativity is to stay positive and empower change. It will take their breath away."
And so, she's done just that in her own unique way -- by posting a photo of herself holding up one of the worst comments she's ever received.
A comment that called her postpartum belly "nasty." One that asked her why she doesn't take care of her body, and how she could have such confidence when she looks "like that." And finally, one that tells her to "just work out and take care of that mess you call a body."
WHAT?
First of all, that's an atrocious thing to say to anyone — let alone a complete stranger who's done nothing but try and spread positivity. But I guess it's no surprise in the age of social media that people can be truly terrible online, hurling insults at others they'd never in a million years say to their face.
Sadly, it isn't the only comment like that Dingman has received, even though she's only been blogging for a relatively short span of time.
"I get a handful of comments that I tend to delete as soon as I can," she tells CafeMom, adding that she gets negative messages from women and a lot of sexually inappropriate messages from men.
Some of these messages even prompted her to write back in the beginning, but she admits that in those moments she was "writing in a fury," and soon realized that she'd never get anywhere by unleashing even more negativity.
So she's adopted a simple, yet tried-and-true method we were all taught as kids: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
So far, it's working for her.
"One of the hardest things for me to understand is why people feel the need to bring others down," Dingman's post continues.
Even more concerning? The fact that by her estimation, 97 percent of the negativity she's received on her social media handles has been from other women.
"What are we doing?!" she writes. "How are we supposed to feel like strong confident women when we are tearing each other down? We are on the same team and bullying isn’t something I stand for."
She hits the nail right on the head with that one, which gets at the heart of an issue that every woman has likely asked herself at least once in her life: Why's it so hard sometimes for women to support other women?
"I always say a woman alone has power," Shelley Zalls wrote last year in Forbes. "Collectively, we have impact."
We certainly do — and we need to start walking the walk. Perhaps that starts by adopting a mindset like Dingman's, which refuses to let the darkness of others crowd out our own inner light, in whatever way we can.
