I'm all for speaking up when you feel you need help, and I think there's a lot to be said about the importance of finding your "village." But I think we can all agree there's a difference between asking for help and feeling entitled to it, and a recent viral post on a giving site called Meal Train is seriously underscoring that fact.
The post, which has since been deleted according to Yahoo Lifestyle, was reportedly written by Philadelphia couple Jim and Alex Burns.
The two are expecting their first child this spring, and just like most first-time parents, they're feeling … well, a lot of things.
“As the father-to-be, I’m teetering on a fence of emotions,” Jim Burns wrote in the now-deleted post. “One of the things I’m most afraid of is not getting a great deal of sleep and as a result not being in the best frame of mind to offer my wife the support she needs to recover from the child-birthing process."
Okay, fair enough; those first-time jitters and worries are to be expected, and not everything is gonna be smooth sailing.
"That's why I'm putting together this 'Meal-Train' or 'Mental-health check-in train' or 'Do you need any help today train,'“ the soon-to-be pops continued. “A meal would be awesome. If you feel comfortable reaching out before you arrive to see if we might need anything else — that'd be even more awesome.”
Hmm ... this is what first gave pause to readers of the post. But it's the list of demands that soon followed that really set off the eye rolls.
Burns began to list various meal preferences — for breakfast, lunch, and dinner — that the couple would be more than happy to receive, should their kindly neighbors feel so inclined. That list included paleo breakfast egg muffins with thinly sliced cremini mushrooms, chocolate peanut butter energy balls, and lamb meatball stew with orzo.
There were also suggestions such as grain bowls with chicken, chickpeas, and avocado — along with a recipe link from Epicurious, so neighbors could learn how to make it.
(LOL — seriously, dude? You aren't putting in an order at a restaurant!)
And if the couple is having a particularly rough day and would "prefer no distractions," but still would like to accept free food, Burns explained that he'd alert them by putting "a big white cooler in our side yard."
Oh will you now?
The post might have been forgotten about after it was deleted, had it not been for one of the couple's neighbors, who just HAD to alert Twitter.
In an April 18 Twitter thread, @JJFromTheBronx explained that he recently signed up for a neighborhood social network called Nextdoor. Usually, users sign up to be alerted about local crime or other neighborly events. But on this particular day, he received information from the Burns' Meal Train, and, well, he could not get over how "ridiculous" it was.
"Turns out they are in fact asking total strangers to help them and with the most millennial phrasing I have ever seen in my life," JJ wrote in a Twitter thread that has since gone viral.
JJ was also floored the couple didn't just detail their likes but also their dislikes -- such as mashed potatoes. (Who doesn't like mashed potatoes?!)
Oh, and they would also be super duper appreciative if you dropped by and felt the need to do some cleaning.
Yes — seriously.
"Text me and check in," the post continued. "Maybe come visit. Vacuum, wash some dishes, walk the dog. That will nourish us as much."
Nourish! NOURISH!
"If I don't egg their house, I deserve an award," JJ then tweeted.
Honestly, I concur.
Twitter was quick to join in on the outrage -- and throw out a few jokes.
"Basically," one Twitter user noted, the post roughly translates to: "'We had sex without protection so strangers should act like our servants.'"
“'Hello, is that Social Services?'" another Twitter user joked. "'Yes, I’d like to alert you to a baby that’s in the care of two people who are dangerous narcissists and also aren’t capable of providing food or basic household care for themselves.'"
Others noted the difference between neighbors stepping up to do things for those in need, and being sent a list of requests and demands.
"We as a neighborhood did this for a young family for six months," wrote one woman. "The mother died of the flu. No requests, no orders. We just knew as a father and a husband he was devastated and lost. It was a pleasure to do it. These knuckleheads deserve a slap of reality."
They certainly do.
Although it's not exactly known why the couple took down the post, I'm thinking we can all assume that the backlash got to them.
Here's hoping it also got through to them and made them realize that the way to find your village is not to give them overly demanding orders while offering nothing in return. (Though TBH, that should be a pretty obvious lesson.)
