On Friday, the internet was borderline obsessed with the viral rant of a mom gone WILD after a recent trip to Disney World left her seriously PO'd. The focus of her fury? The so-called "childless couples" who have the gall to visit the theme park without a kid in tow — thereby ruining E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G for those who do. The expletive-ridden Facebook rant was intended to publicly shame Disney-loving millennials everywhere, but it wound up being so unhinged, it left the internet rushing to their defense instead. (Oh, and heavily cry-laughing, because OMG lady, WTH?)
To recap: The original Facebook rant was shared on Twitter by @JenKatWrites, who blocked the user's name (which turned out to be for the best).
The anonymous mother's rage is pretty much unleashed right out of the gate.
“It pisses me off TO NO END!!!!! when I see CHILDLESS COUPLES WITHOUT [KIDS] AT DISNEY WORLD!!!!" the post begins, followed by a series of angry-faced emojis. “DW is a FAMILY amusement park!!!! yet these IMMATURE millennials THROW AWAY THEIR MONEY ON USELESS CRAP!!!!!"
Immediately, Twitter was on the defense. (I mean, if we wanna buy some sequined Mickey ears, that's our business.) But she was just getting started.
"They have NO idea the JOY and HAPPINESS it is to MOTHERS WHO BUYS THEIR BABIES TREATS AND TOYS!!!!" the woman continued. "THEY WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE THE EXHAUSTION THAT IT IS TO CHASE A 3 YEAR OLD AROUND AND GETTING STARES AT ASSUMING IM A BAD MOTHER!!!!"
Oh yes, the pure joy …
That wasn't what bothered her most about her day, though. Oh no; apparently that was all due to a "stolen" Mickey pretzel.
"This c*nt in some very SLUTTY shorts was buying a Mickey pretzel and Aiden wanted one, but the line was very long" she explained, "so I said later and it broke his poor little heart and he cried. I WANTED TO TAKE THAT F*CKING PRETZEL FROM THAT TRAMP LIKE THANKS B*TCH YOU MADE MY SON CRY!!!"
It was at this point that Twitter more or less erupted in a collective, "Oh no she didn't ... "
… But oh yes. Yes she did. And she wasn't done yet.
"DW is for CHILDREN!!!!" the woman continued. "People without CHILDREN need to be BANNED!!!! Mothers with children should be allowed to skip ALL THE LINE!!! YOU HAVE NO F*CKING IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE TO STAND IN LINE FOR 3 HOURS WITH A CRANKY TIRED EXHAUSTED TODDLER!!! AND I CANT JUST TELL HIM THAT WE CANT DO SOMETHING BECAUSE ITS HIS VACATION TOO. I f*cking hate childless women with a BURNING PASSION!!!!"
Needless to say, the viral rant unleashed a flood of responses from people who could not wait to pounce.
Many pointed out the obvious irony in all of this, with one woman tweeting: "Nothing like the happiest place on earth drawing in the unhappiest of ppl … get over yourself woman."
At least one other met her call for a ban on childless women with a call for another equally ridiculous one: "If childless millennials can't go to theme parks then families with children can't go on airplanes," wrote another Twitter user.
Some remarked that perhaps the reason so many "childless" millennials are heading to Disney World now is because they can finally afford to go.
"Not all of us grew up where our families could afford to take us to Disney," wrote one woman. "Take your entitled, judgmental, caps-lock for brains havin ass and shove it."
And there was at least one person who also called her out for this faux pas: "FFS, a childless couple is still a FAMILY."
Touche!
Some "childless" millennials pointed out that taking a child that young anywhere is never easy. But hey, that's not their fault.
"It pisses ME off when I see couples with a 6 month old baby at Disney," tweeted one person. "Your child is not going to remember their first time at Disney cause you're f*cking selfish and couldn't hold off taking them at an age where they can appreciate it."
Others couldn't help but see humor in the whole thing, with one guy tweeting: "As a single person with no kids who goes to Disney World all the time, this is making me feel extremely powerful."
And then there were those who tried to rationalize the woman's pretty irrational behavior.
"Sounds like she's resentful she's not having fun because she's too overwhelmed with toddler needs, and envious of unencumbered women (likely her own age) who are actually having fun," noted one person. "Sounds like she's the one who needs to grow up and stop blaming others for her own choices."
Adding more fuel to the fire was a New York Post op-ed penned by Johnny Oleksinki, who -- gasp -- kinda sided with the woman.
The piece was titled, "Sorry, childless millennials going to Disney World is weird" — and BOY, did it stoke the flames.
Oleksinki admitted the mom's rant wasn't about to "win any prizes" for speech writing, but he noted "there was a glimmer of wisdom contained within her word vomit."
"Ms. F–G PRETZEL is right on this point," he continued. "Millennials are indeed in an unhealthy relationship with Disney, having granted control of so much of their leisure time and personality to a single, enormous corporate entity meant for children … While we’re at it, why not return to the safety and comfort of the womb?"
Uh … seriously, dude?
Let's just say: Twitter took offense. BIGLY.
"You know what’s weirder?" tweeted one guy. "Old white dudes obsessing about whether younger people are going to Disney or not. Disney. You’re creeped out by adults going to DISNEY. It’s not heroin and binge drinking, dude, it’s DISNEY."
Yeah! What that guy said!
"Anyone should be able to go to Disney World and have fun and not be called weird by some failing journalist," wrote another.
Although I'm not exactly on board with the whole "failing journalist" barb, I agree with the heart of what that commenter's saying.
Disney World is for everyone. Not some people -- everyone.
Plus, it's marketed to be nostalgic for a reason — it appeals to the kid in us, at any age.
I'm truly sorry that lady couldn't get her kid a Mickey pretzel last week, because they're pretty delish. But maybe if she'd stopped laser-beaming her rage into the girl in front of her — who, BTW, can wear whatever kind of shorts she wants — then maybe she would have had a better time that day.
But let's be real: In the end, it's likely Disney that's laughing, because they're doing some sweet sweet business each year thanks to these so-called childless millennials — who not only visit the parks for fun but also pay to get married and honeymoon there.
"These people don’t realize Disney is making bank on childless couples," one person pointed out, "bc we go just to spend another $300 to get drunk in Epcot while y’all out here packing ham and cheese sammichs and drinking ice water."
(Take that, lady!)
