In Abby Jimenez's 16-year marriage, or entire life for that matter, she's never laughed as hard as she did because of her husband's mistake Thursday. No, this wasn't a chuckle or a light-hearted laugh with her man. This was a full-blown cackle, likely with tears, at her beloved spouse over his epic laxative fail. And let's just say, she and their three kids will never let him live this one down.
On Thursday, Abby shared with the world what went on in her house after her hubby decided to try taking a laxative the night before.
When he said that he needed some Ex-Lax, Abby didn't think much of it at first. "He told me he needed it and was going to take it. I didn't know I needed to supervise though," she tells CafeMom.
But unfortunately for him, she was very wrong.
"Oh my God, I have never laughed so f—ing hard in my LIFE," she shared in a now viral post on Facebook. "This morning, some s–t started going down. Like, literally. He looked at the packaging and realized that when it said to eat 1-2 squares, it meant the tiny squares, not an entire block."
In case anyone needs clarification, like her distressed husband did, that means he ate 12 doses of Ex-lax and was now paying the consequences. "(Husband, baby, I can see where the mistake was made. With that whole block of chocolate wrapped up like one dose, and it flipped backwards like it was, I get it. But good Lord, I can't even with this.)," she wrote.
Convinced he was dying, Abby's husband made her call Poison Control and ask for help.
But Abby's initial reaction was to crack up over the entire situation because as his wife, how could she not?! "I started laughing and I literally couldn't stop. I'm STILL laughing I think when he told me, I knew subconsciously that this wouldn't kill him because so many people use it for pranks?" she says. "But he was pretty freaked out and getting really mad at me for not taking this more seriously. But I couldn't stop. I seriously couldn't."
So she picks up the phone and makes the emergency call but can barely get the words out between laughs. "The guy on the other end probably thought it was a prank call. I swear to God, I hope they record their calls and enjoy that one at the staff meeting later because even thinking about me trying to explain that my 39-year-old husband just ate a whole brick of Ex-lax is making me wheeze," she wrote.
"The guy was like, 'The biggest risks are cramping, dehydration, and diaper rash,'" she wrote.
Unfortunately for the Poison Control man and her husband, this already convulsing mama wasn't prepared for that epic answer.
"Motherf—ing DIAPER RASH. I was NOT ready for this dude to come at me with diaper rash. I completely lost it," she wrote. "My husband was so p—ed (from the bathroom of course). The Poison Control guy kept chuckling and going, 'Oh boy. Oooooooh boy. You'll need to get some Desitin.' DEAD."
Yes, Abby knows the situation could have been serious but it wasn't, which is why she has the right to laugh her butt off at the entire thing.
"The funniest part of all is he thought he only took a half dose because he only ate one bar ," she wrote.
Yes, he's going to be fine and was feeling much better after only an hour but that doesn't mean that Abby's recovered yet.
"I'm still crying. I can't even drink my latte because I keep choking thinking about it and spitting my coffee back into my mug," she wrote. "I had to lay down sideways in a restaurant booth because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe, three full hours after this happened. I kept clearing my throat on the call with Poison Control like, 'Ahem. Okay, I know this is serious. Please continue. AHAHAHAHAHA!!!'"
For those who are wondering, Abby's husband was livid at her initial reaction but now that he knows he isn't dying, he's laughing about his mistake too.
"He said it was the worst chocolate he's ever eaten and he couldn't understand why he had to eat so much of it (I'm shaking laughing)," she says. "I'm trying to get the recording from poison control. I want this for my grandkids."
And thankfully, he has a good sense of humor about his viral blowout — when he's not pooping his brains out. "He let me share this story. I have no idea why. All I know is it's a gift to the universe," she wrote.
