Learning your kid has been bullied is like a dagger to the heart. But learning that your kid is the one doing the bullying? Well, that's another beast entirely. It's something Randy Smalls was recently confronted with, when he found out that his teenage daughter had been making fun of a classmate. The South Carolina dad was determined to teach his daughter a lesson — and somehow make it up to the girl she bullied while he was at it.
Smalls said he was bullied himself as a kid, and he knows the heartbreak of having "friends" laugh at you.
âI say, âWhen you laugh along, youâre co-signing the bullying,â the 35-year-old father of three told Yahoo Lifestyle.Â
So when he heard that his seventh-grade daughter's classmate, Ryan Reese, was getting picked on for the clothes she was wearing, Smalls felt nothing but empathy. When he learned that his daughter was a part of it, he knew he had to do something.
It turns out, Smallsâ wife is close with Ryanâs mother, Richauna, and the girls are actually cousins. However, none of the parents were aware that the girls had problems at school.
The parents soon discussed the matter over the phone, and it wasn't long before Smalls got an idea that seemed to kill two birds with one stone.
âI wanted to help Ryan so she wouldnât have this issue anymore,â he told Yahoo Lifestyle of the constant teasing about her clothes.
He also wanted to teach his daughter a lesson. Knowing that he'd recently agreed to take his 13-year-old for new clothes but not exactly feeling she deserved it, Smalls soon knew what he had to do.
Instead, Smalls took Ryan on a full-blown shopping spree -- with the money he would've spent on his daughter.
"She was supposed to go shopping that following Saturday, and her punishment was that the money that she was supposed to go and use, Ryan gets the money," Smalls told WCSC. "I think that's the perfect punishment because my daughter likes to dress. So if they're picking on a student because of the dressing, then I take away from her and give it to somebody else."
Needless to say, Smalls' daughter wasn't happy.
âMy daughter was upset, especially because she is into fashion,â he explained. But she did eventually get over it — and even went with him to help pick out Ryan's new clothes.
And that's not all: Smalls also booked an appointment for Ryan at a salon.Â
âWe got her hair done and weâll be paying for twice-a-month appointments until the end of the year,â he shared.
Plus, after hearing the story, several other salons got in on the feel-good story, donating their services so the teen can get her hair styled for the next few months.
Ryan wasn't the only one who was touched by the unexpected kindness, though. Her mother couldn't believe it.
Richauna told Yahoo Lifestyle that her daughter has been dealing with an unbelievable amount of loss, following the deaths of her not only her father but also her grandfather and aunt. In fact, the stress of it all has even been causing nonepileptic seizures. So getting bullied in school was the last thing she needed — or deserved.
âThis is the first time I have seen a parent take such a stance on bullying,â Richauna shared.
Speaking with WCSC, Ryan shared how some of the bullying started -- and how bad a toll it took on her.
"It's just like me and my friends, just like talking and stuff, and then all of a sudden I'm just getting picked on, bullied about my clothes, how I wear it," Ryan said.
The seventh-grader, who attends Berkeley Middle School, said the bullying isn't new, either. In fact, a group of girls had been teasing her for quite a while. Still, the fact that one of the girls was her cousin had to rub some extra salt in the wound.
"They were just really hurting me, and it took my depression really down and like really hit me hard and stuff," Ryan said. "I literally had enough, so I told my mom what happened."
The parents now say that cousins are friends, but that's not even the sweetest silver lining to this story.
Ryan shared that Smalls has become "the first father figure" she's had since her own dad's passing.Â
"Sorry. Ever since my father died, itâs just, itâs just really hard," she told WCSC. "Now I have someone I can look up to."
If that doesn't melt your heart, we don't know what will. Smalls has taken things one step further, by trying to spread his anti-bullying message to a wider audience.
"I believe as a parent, we have to take responsibility for what our children do. We can teach our children and we can do whatever we can to help our children, but we gotta first take responsibility," Smalls said.
The father told Yahoo Lifestyle that he launched a local group known as Parents Against Bullying, and hopes he can make a small difference.
âI didnât expect for this to get big but Iâm glad if other parents [can learn from it],â he said. âMy daughter learned her lesson.â
