The topic of earrings and baby girls can be a heated one, with many feeling strongly about it. For some parents, they're against getting their little girl's ears pierced, whether it be for age, religious reasons, or the fact that babies and toddlers aren't really able to give consent yet. Whatever the case, parents typically get to decide for themselves where they stand on the issue. But for one mom on Reddit, it seems her mother-in-law recently took matters into her own hands by secretly trying to get her toddler daughter's ears pierced. Needless to say, the girl's mom was not happy about it, and now she's wondering how to handle the whole thing.
In her Reddit post, the mom explained that she and her MIL are far from buddy-buddy.
It seems that both she and her husband are on the same page when it comes to his pushy mom.
"We live about eight hours away from her, see her once a year and speak maybe once a month," the mom explained. "Dear Husband harbors no delusions about MIL, he knows exactly what kind of person she is and would probably run her down with a car before she hurt me or our three Darling Daughters."
But neither was likely expecting the grandma to cross the line this badly.
The couple recently welcomed a new baby, which of course meant a visit from Grandma. But instead of fawning over her new grandkid, the MIL instead "complained about how [my other daughters] don't recognize her and want nothing to do with her." She was apparently quite hung up on this — even offering to get a picture of herself framed for their bedrooms so she'd be top of mind — and "made a general nuisance of herself," according to the mom.
But Grandma's biggest affront came when she brought up the topic of getting her granddaughters' ears pierced.
"It’s something she’s been complaining about for years, but we usually just tell her that when they’re old enough to ask for it, then we’ll do it," the mom wrote.
On the second day of the visit, the poster's sister-in-law offered to take Grandma and her two daughters for a walk, so the mom could rest at home with her new baby.
"I trust SIL, and so happily bundled up my second daughter and curled up on the couch to nurse the baby and catch up on some trashy TV," the mom recalled.
But unbeknownst to her, Grandma had a plan up her sleeve.
"They came back about an hour and a half later, and when I asked how the walk was, MIL casually said it was nice and she bought some cute hair things for the girls," the mom shared.
That's when her sister-in-law "shot me a look that clearly said something was off." And later when the two were alone, she spilled the beans.
During their walk, the poster's MIL had taken the girls into a jewelry store, where she proceeded to try to get the toddler's ears pierced.
"[My] SIL shut it down and said loudly that, 'You’re not her mother, you don’t get to do that without Original Poster's or Dear Husband’s permission!'" the mom relayed.
The manager of the store apparently agreed, and told Grandma that there was no way that she was getting her granddaughter's ears pierced without the mom present.
"She actually had the nerve to get mad at the poor lady!" the mom shared. Making matters worse, the sister-in-law told her that she feels the Grandma "would have 100 percent done it had she not been there."
"At this point, I’m ready to cut her out completely," the fuming mother wrote, adding that her husband is "equally horrified," and that neither of them are sure how to confront the issue without throwing the sister-in-law under the bus.
"Help!!!!!" the mom pleaded with Reddit.
Some people suggested the mom come up with a little scheme so she could call out her MIL.
"Just say that your friend was at the store/works there/was just outside the store and saw the whole thing unfold and contacted you about it," one person advised. "I wouldn’t speak to her again. I cannot believe she thought that was an acceptable thing to do."
"Maybe mention, since you say you live in a small town, that you heard from a neighbor that some woman took a child that wasn't hers in to get her ears pierced, and isn't that just ridiculous," a second person added. "'Can't believe someone tried to get a kids ears pierced without their parents present?!?'"
And a third person had this to say:
"I would fake a call. DH is on board have him call you and act like a friend. She doesn’t need to know it’s him. Then start saying, 'oh really' while looking at her and say something like,..'and you are sure it was darling daughter 2? Oh, okay thank you for letting me know.' Then unleash hell on her. That way SIL is protected and you get to No Contact her [expletive]."
But at least one person urged the poster to be more direct.
"I’d lay it out," the commenter shared. "I know you tried to play mother and get my child’s ears pierced without my permission. You’ve proven yourself unable to be trusted. You’re not allowed to be alone with the child again. The end.”
In the end, the mom didn't have to come up with a plot and instead came clean about what she knew.
In an update to the post, the mom explained that after posting, she realized the jewelry shop owner was the tenant of a building she and her husband owned.
"I haven’t had a ton of contact with her, but definitely knew the name when I heard it, so called her up," the mom explained. "She basically completely agreed with [my] SIL’s story, adding that my MIL tried to argue that she was DD’s guardian since I was not present. The manager explained that is NOT how it works and she could be charged with battery or assault for doing this without parent’s permission."
The poster then relayed the news to her husband, who said he "would like to handle it." (Woah, boy!)
After breakfast one morning before the grandmother left, the poster's husband brought his mother into his home office.
"DH (whom I have heard yell maybe once in the entire eight years we have been together) absolutely ripped into her," the mom relayed. "He said that she had absolutely betrayed the trust of our family, that she had driven away almost everyone in her life with her narcissism and he was done making excuses for her."
Her husband even told his mother that if she had gone through with the act, "he would have pressed charges so she should be thanking her lucky stars the manager stopped her."
At that, she says her mother-in-law started "screaming and crying" about how ungrateful her son was and how he and his wife were only thinking of themselves. (Sounds like a real piece of work!)
The entire thing ended in quite a scene, with the poster's husband telling his mother to pack her things and that she's no longer welcome in their lives. (OUCH!)
"As we speak he is driving her to a hotel, checking her in and BIL and SIL will pick her up on their way out of town," the mom concluded. "So … end of story I guess!"
Talk about an epic ending.
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