Few could argue that 2017 was a pretty big year in the US. (And I'm not even talking about politically.) Crack open a history book 10 years from now, and you won't be able to miss the seismic shift that occurred when the #MeToo movement came barreling in. First was Harvey Weinstein and then came Matt Lauer. Then the conversations turned to the sexist professor we dealt with in college and the jerk boss we loathed from our first job. A lot of men didn't know what hit them — but finally, women were given a platform to voice the pervasive sexual harassment and assault that we've dealt with for decades and even centuries. It was, to put it mildly, a moment of triumph; but even now, two years later, its message is often misconstrued. Such was the case when Jessica Martin-Weber recently met a man who made a comment about breastfeeding that she couldn't let go.
"Recently a man said something to me about not knowing what to do when he sees breastfeeding in public in this age of #MeToo," she shared on Facebook.
"Yes, he was serious," she continued. "He went on to explain that he can’t help but 'notice' breastfeeding and since he’s a guy, he can’t help looking at breasts when they’re 'just out there.' Or something like that."
The man continued on to say that "breastfeeding should always be done some place private." But before you roll your eyes at that, it gets even worse. His reasoning? "These days, a guy is going to get '#MeToo’d' just for noticing breastfeeding and he’ll be slapped with a 'sexual harassment lawsuit just for looking,'” the man declared.
Uh, come again?
The thing is, this dude -- whoever he was -- was talking to the wrong mama. (Or maybe the right one, depending on how you look at things.)
Martin-Weber founded The Leaky Boob, a breastfeeding advocacy website that boasts a loyal legion of 315K members in its Facebook group alone. To say she knows a thing or two on the rights of breastfeeding moms is an understatement.
So, she rolled up her sleeves and educated the man. And then, she took to Facebook, where she penned "a simple, easy guide for those concerned about getting 'MeToo’d'" whenever they happened to see a woman breastfeeding her baby.
"These surefire strategies will keep you from being the next Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Matt Lauer, Louis C.K., or Rupert Murdoch with these easy to follow steps and practical tips," Martin-Weber wrote in her November 14 post.
Step No. 1? "Keep your mouth shut," Martin-Weber advised.
If you see a breastfeeding mama, "you can smile, you can nod, but if you are concerned it could turn into a #MeToo moment any second, just keep your mouth shut because apparently your are confused on what constitutes sexual harassment from say, normal decent human interaction," she wrote. "Also should go without saying but since you need a guide: keep your d–k in your pants and don’t slip her any drugs."
Oooo SNAP!
If the man in question would like to say anything at all, Martin-Weber suggested things along the line of “You’re such a good parent,” rather than something creepy like “That baby sure is lucky,” because yes, that totally wanders into sexual harassment territory.
Upon noting the mother and her sweet baby, you can take note of the adorable infant -- just don't become "lecherous" trying to see boobs.
"Babies are adorable, we all get that," Martin-Weber continued. "It’s okay to take a good long look at an adorable baby and nobody’s going to blame you for that. But if you start trying to see the boobies, craning your neck and staring hoping for a glimpse of t-tty … that the baby’s head is covering anyway … then you’re gross, clearly have issues with boundaries, and deserve whatever comes your way."
As a reminder to readers, if they're struggling to grasp this whole concept, there's probably a reason for that. "#MeToo exists because of schmucks like you in the first place," she declared.
Her "guide" was instantly applauded by moms across Facebook, and has since racked up thousands of reactions.
"Ridiculous that this is even an issue," one mom wrote. "It's a baby eating. If you see it as ANYTHING other than that then move your ignorant a– right along!"
"All of this comes from a generation of boys who were taught nothing about motherhood or even babies," another woman asserted. "When you don't understand, you fear and hate."
Others called out just how problematic it is to sexualize breastfeeding to begin with.
"If you get horny seeing a baby feeding, you have a problem with your brain," one mom wrote.
And then there were some who called out the attention they wish they'd get more when breastfeeding in public: support and praise.
"I was breastfeeding in a small auction house while an auction was going on," one mom recalled. "I looked across the room and elder lady gave me a thumbs up! Like hell, if everyone was like that!"
Oh, if only …
Until then, maybe Jessica Martin-Weber should consider turning this into a pamphlet to hand out on the subway and leave on park benches. They could SURE come in handy.
