Choosing a baby name is a big decision for most parents, and there are a lot of factors that go into it. Some parents have a really easy time choosing a first name and have no trouble with the middle name either. Others, meanwhile, have no clue up until the birth and even afterward. There is such a thing as baby name regret, and one dad took to Reddit to ask if it was all right for him to change his baby's name three weeks after birth.
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A dad took to Reddit to ask if it was OK to change a baby's name and gave some history on why he wants to do that.
The original poster (OP), a new father, took to Reddit to ask for advice. He started by writing "My wife and I have a 3 week old baby daughter, our first. Her name is a bit uncommon — in the general family of Scarlett."
OP shared that when he was younger, he wanted to study in the United States, and his mom did everything she could to make it happen. Since welcoming her first granddaughter, OP's mom moved to the United States to be closer, but she doesn't speak English and has a "significant language barrier."
OP and his wife chose their baby's name when she was still 7 months pregnant and kept it a secret from the family until the baby was born. When they introduced their new daughter to OP's mom, dad realized an issue he hadn't thought about before.
OP's mom could not say his new daughter's name.
"My mom, however, cannot pronounce English names without a thick, thick accent," he posted on Reddit. "I didn't even think about this until after our baby had been born and we introduced her to my mother, who was completely unable to pronounce her name. She was very embarrassed about it, but I promised her I would work with her on being able to say my daughter's name."
OP's mom has, instead, opted to call her granddaughter "mouse" in her native tongue, and during a video call, OP's MIL asked what was up with the nickname.
"My MIL asked what she was saying, I told them that she was calling her mouse. My MIL laughed about it and asked why she didn't just call the baby by her name," OP wrote. "I said she couldn't say the name which made my MIL laugh harder and ask for my mom to 'just try.' I gave an excuse for the call to end, and my wife had an argument with her mother about making fun of my mom."
The fact that his mom was laughed at didn't sit well with OP or his mom. "My mom isn't fluent in English, but she knew she was being laughed at. She was extremely embarrassed by it all and hasn't wanted to speak to anybody since."
It was then that OP realized this could not continue, and he asked his wife if they could change their daughter's name.
"That night, I asked my wife if we could think about changing the baby's name so my mom might have a chance to say it. I tried explaining how hard it was for her, but my wife kept shutting me down and saying that it just wasn't possible."
OP said his wife was worried changing their kid's name would be "more embarrassing to tell everyone we'd changed the name" since OP's mom "couldn't figure it out." OP said his wife told him he should have his mom "work harder on English, not us give into her 'demands.' — even though she asked for nothing of the sort."
OP said he tried to compromise, asking to call their daughter by her middle name.
"I tried to offer a compromise, saying we could make her current name a middle name, and explaining how important it was to me that my mom could have an active role in our baby's life." He said his wife told him that if "I pushed any further, she would have to push for separation."
"She said that I was asking her to compromise on her values and destroy our baby's identity," he continued. "I don't think it's unreasonable — she's 3 weeks old, it's not like she's been her name for 30 years."
He then asked the community 'AITA for telling my wife I want to change our baby's name?'
Reddit was really divided on if OP is wrong for asking. Some thought it was no big deal because their daughter is only 3 weeks old, whereas others said it's not something that should change.
"NAH. But this is ridiculous," one person wrote. "Plenty of kids have nicknames and the baby will not get confused it does not know things yet. Find a cute nickname you like that your mom can say and have her say that. If people ask just tell them it's my mom's nickname for her."
Another person pointed out the dad isn't the one being a jerk. "The only AH here is your MIL," the person wrote. "It seems to me she's the only one here with any real issue with the nickname, your wife seemed relatively understanding of it until you insisted on completely changing the baby's name."
Another disagreed, writing that the OP was in the wrong. "You can't suddenly tell your wife that the name you've both bonded over and chosen since before the little was born, now needs to be changed just because your mother has a hard time pronouncing it! No no no!"
"YTA. The baby already has a name," another comment read. "You shouldn't change it just because your mother can't say it. Maybe see if your mother can say an actual nickname of it, or her actual middle name."
There is nothing wrong with having a nickname for a baby – and we happen to think mouse is adorable.
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