Nearly five years ago, YouTuber Myka Stauffer and her husband, James, adopted a baby boy from China. They named him Huxley, and by the looks of Myka's Instagram page — which boasted nearly 168K followers at the time — he fit right in to her growing family of seven. But it appears that behind the scenes, things weren't as they seemed. In a since-deleted YouTube video, Myka shared that Huxley was no longer living with the family.
Instead, he was recently "rehomed" — a word that sent shockwaves through social media and has landed the couple in a world of controversy.
Myka and James made the announcement in a video released on their now deleted YouTube channel.
"So this is by far the hardest video James and I have ever publicly had to make," Myka began the video, as her husband sat beside her.
Before she got into the details of what exactly happened, Myka paused to thank her followers, many of whom have left her messages of support as she's navigated the rough waters of special needs parenting.
"That really got me through some really hard times," she said, breaking down in tears.
James continues by saying just how hard Myka has tried to help support Huxley over the years, following his diagnosis of autism.
"With international adoption, sometimes there's unknowns, and things that are not transparent on files, and once Huxley came home, there were a lot more special needs that we weren't aware of," James continued.
James went on to explain that in the last few years, they'd taken Huxley to numerous specialists, and had immersed him in more intense therapy "to try and help him with his severe needs."
In the process, the Stauffers say the journey has taken an emotional toll on them.
"For us, it's been really hard hearing from the medical professionals, a lot of their feedback and things that have been upsetting — really upsetting for us. We've been trying to get his needs met and help him out as much as possible. It's really hard, we truly love him."
"There's not an ounce of our body that doesn't love Huxley with all of our being, there wasn't a minute that I didn't try our hardest," Myka jumped in. "I think what Jim is trying to say is that … after multiple assessments, after multiple evaluations, numerous medical professionals have felt that he needed a different fit in his medical needs. He needed more."
Myka said the couple kept quiet about what was transpiring behind the scenes out of respect for their son's privacy.
But she claimed it was also because she didn't want to interfere with ongoing legal proceedings, which she feared might "mess up" future plans for Huxley.
In short, the couple felt that Huxley's new home was giving him the best shot he can at having a good future. But that's not to say it doesn't hurt.
With tears in her eyes, Myka admitted that the entire process left her feeling like a total failure.
"Do I feel like a failure as a mom? Like 500%," she said at one point in the video, adding that she believes the couple had poured their "heart and guts" into helping the little boy succeed.
Ultimately, they believe they made the decision that was best for Huxley — and their family.
Since making the announcement, internet reaction remained split.
Some empathized with the Stauffers' difficult decision.
"I was adopted at 8 months old, my sister at about 14 months from China," one YouTube commenter wrote. "We both had issues of our own coming from another country, my sister a little bit more than me because she was older when she was adopted. I respect you so much for having the courage to make such a heartbreaking and hard decision. You are such great parents, you have to do what’s right for him first and foremost. You are brave and he will thrive in life because of you … stay strong, you will get through this."
"I pray for Huxley and your family," another person wrote. "I adopted a daughter internationally at age 2. Every day was a struggle and 23 years later. It still is, but for me, we persevered. I love her with everything I have, but it certainly was a different life story than I had written before she came."
Others couldn't get over their shock about the entire situation.
"Wow … can't believe what I just watched," one person wrote. "So sad for everyone."
But many people were critical of the Stauffers for essentially 'returning' a child who 'wasn't what they expected.'
"I'm sorry but you did fail as a mum," one person wrote. "You wouldn't have given up your own child." On Twitter, #CancelMykaStauffer and #CancelTheStauffers began popping up, with many users writing similar messages of disgust.
"If her biological kid gets diagnosed with autism will she abandon that kid too?" one person wrote in a now-deleted tweet. "And here's the thing…those of us with autistic kids? WE HAD NO IDEA WE WERE GOING TO HAVE THEM," another person tweeted. "We figured it out. We advocated. We learned. We showed up for our kids."
"Too few people are talking about how a white savior REHOMED A WHOLE A– HUMAN CHILD she adopted from another country because he was making her life as a YouTuber too hard @MykaStauffer," someone else tweeted.
"Your child was too hard to handle?" another person asked. "So you….gave him back? Like….a gift receipt. That poor sweet thing."
But according to the Stauffers, that's not exactly how it went down.
Unfortunately, they didn't want to get into much detail, because the couple saida Huxley's privacy has always been at the forefront of their decision-making. But they did suggest that situations within the home may have gotten intense.
"The reason why we can't go into detail of what actually transpired is because we're truly going to protect Huxley's privacy and not let people know what happened, everything that went on —" James said.
" — to make us make this decision, or to even come to medical professionals with the need to get more help," Myka continued. "Anything that happened in the home that was hard for Hux, that's not fair for me to put out there publicly, that's his privacy. So we're not going to talk about that, that's not appropriate and that will never be appropriate. I didn't adopt a little boy to share these things publicly.
"Every now and then you may have gotten like a teeny like struggle or like a hardship when I was trying to be really raw and real," Myka added, before saying that they have not aired 95% of the struggles they have been through with the "pure intent" of protecting Huxley's privacy.
Despite the backlash, there were many on YouTube who sympathized with what the couple was going through.
"I've adopted numerous children and I've had two failed adoptions so I understand how difficult it is," one woman commented. "Take some pressure off of yourself and be strong for the children you do have. And remember love never fails and in adulthood one of our fails came back to us at age 32 and is part of our family now."
"Bless you," another person wrote. "My third child is profoundly autistic. It was so hard trying to 'fix' him when he was growing up. I truly know how hard life can be for all involved. He is now 31 and of course we are getting older now. Just know I understand how you must be suffering now."
"Sometimes, our part in a child's story isn't to be with them forever, it's to be the bridge to get them where they need to be," another added. "It's hard being the temporary family when you thought it was for forever."
