Despite this being the year 2020, and in spite of the progress we have made, we have a long way to go as a society all around. Though there are plenty of progressive people, a large majority of folks are still held to standards and expectations from the days of yore — particularly when it comes to gender.
One dad recently vented on Reddit about how he and his child are treated when mom isn't around and how it isn't only sexist toward her, but it's also insulting to him.
As a new dad of a 7-month-old infant he was "absolutely shocked" at how little we've evolved.
"I got the general, lighthearted, 'Oh, you're babysitting today?' from friends and family when they'd come over and find me watching the kid by myself, as though it weren't equal parts my responsibility," he wrote. "That was one thing where I was looked in favorably for doing the bare minimum expected of me as a parent. Weird, not great, but could be worse. At least it was well intentioned."
The dad went on to say that the comments have turned somewhat hostile toward his wife.
"It was just the odd comment here and there at first," he claimed. "Like, I would be staying with the kids and my wife would be having a night out and someone would say 'Oh, you're leaving him to manage all by himself!' Like… what? She's never supposed to go out on her own? No one ever says anything when I go out and she stays home."
But when the commentary moved outside of those they knew and love, he was really taken aback.
"Today I was out with the baby at the park," he recalled. "I needed to change a diaper so I laid out the changing pad on the trunk of my car in the parking lot and was getting to it.
"A woman with a stroller and a couple older kids trailer her walks by and asks, 'Do you need help?'
"I looked around thinking she was talking to someone in distress nearby. But no, she was talking to me. I was like, 'Uh… no.' And she goes 'You sure you don't want to wait for mom for back up?'
"I was really uncomfortable at this point, especially because I kind of want people to continue keeping their distance right now, so I just insisted 'Uh… no. Thanks. We're good.' And she kind of snorted really dismissively before walking away. The whole encounter was just so bizarre."
Sadly that wasn't the only awkward public interaction. The dad also recalled a time when he was at a store with his kid and things got weird -- again.
"The checkout lady scans the baby items and goes 'You sure you don't want to wait for mom to check out? We can’t do returns if you got the wrong brand," he wrote. "And I was like 'No, just us.' And the checker was like 'She left you to watch the baby and do the shopping! Where do I find a guy like that?'"
He's been stewing over these interactions ever since.
"First of all, how do you know I'm not single, second, why do you assume she's not at work or otherwise busy," he pondered. "How is this your business to comment at all? You are a stranger and I do not know you."
"A man can be just as competent a parent as a woman can be," he vented. And he's totally correct; plenty of rockstar partners and single dads exist!
"Some of us want kids," he added. "We aren't all forced into it or are along for the ride. Some of us like having kids and being with our kids. Stop assuming we're bumbling incompetent morons. Life is not a sitcom. Also other people and their kids aren't your business, so positive or negative, keep your weird invasive comments to yourself."
Both mothers and fathers wrote in the comments that they couldn't have agreed more.
"I've got three kids, and I got that treatment with all three of them," one dad empathized. "For my oldest I was his primary caretaker until he was almost two, just because of our schedules at the time. My wife and I both work and have always split parenting pretty evenly otherwise. My kids are my life and I spend as much time with them as humanly possible, but I've seen the same kind of behavior that you have. It's sad, really."
Here's to hoping that as more dads step up to be equal partners, society stops trying to make them feel bad about it.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
